Knockin' From Under My Bed

The BIG Environmental Change

2009-08-05T00:41:00.002+08:00

Heya peeps. I am now, currently using another blog site for my blogs. Feel free to drop by.

click HERE for the site.

I am not moving my blog, but just changing environment for a while. Getting bored of blogspot. hehe.

2009-07-31T01:33:00.002+08:00

I'll Be There - The Jackson 5
You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back
Where there is love, I'll be there

I'll reach out my hand to you, I'll have faith in all you do
Just call my name and I'll be there

I'll be there to comfort you, Build my world of dreams around you,
I'm so glad that I found you
I'll be there with a love that's strong
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on

Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness, well that's all I'm after
Whenever you need me, I'll be there
I'll be there to protect you, with an unselfish love that respects you
Just call my name and I'll be there

If you should ever find someone new, I know he'd better be good to you
'Cause if he doesn't, I'll be there
Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah
I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there

(Just look over your shoulders, honey - oo)

I'll be there,
I'll be there,
whenever you need me, I'll be there
Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah

I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there...

Sometimes...

2009-07-29T00:13:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, it takes more than just one party to show affection. These things takes two for it to work out, and with that I now understand why I have been drifting away from society the past few weeks.

To make it simple, let's just honestly ask yourself,

have you ever felt tired? Like really tired, tired?

Well, I have. The past few weeks had been stale for me because I had been thinking about alot of stuff that usually wouldn't even cross my mind. I, somehow, got lost along the way. I went from a person that feels for anybody and everybody to a real cold person. I isolated my feelings away from everybody because...I was just so tired; too tired to feel, too tired to know, too tired to please, and too tired to show. I was just..too tired. And with that, I subsciously pulled myself away from society and isolate myself with just me. Who would've knew?..

You know..sometimes we tend to forget who we really are, and I think I have really forgotten who I really was until the other day when I was at Charlene's. Yeah..we did had a talk if you're wondering. According to her, while she was away with her brother's wedding stuff, I've been really distant. And also ever since she got back from Australia, yeah, I was there, but it was as if I am not emotionally there - just the body. You see, there's a story to that.

I used to be a real warm person. I care for everyone as if they are my family, but ever since I had things going on in my life, with the pressure that studies was giving me, I somehow pulled myself away from the world and became the this me. The this me, cares for no one or rather, care less for people. I felt as if I couldn't be bothered listening to people and their problems because I've had enough convincing them that it is okay, when I know it clearly it will not be unless they are able to stand up and say "I CAN"; otherwise, it was just all words. I just didn't see the point anymore, and there is when I withdrawn. I pulled myself away (without me knowing) and restarted my mission to search deeper into life for what I am REALLY passionate for.

Guess what? It did not end well. I wound up pushing everyone I cared for away and became this person that everybody hates. It's really funny now that I think of it. How can one that everybody used to love become someone that, now, everybody hates? Sometimes life just have questions that can never be answered.

Anyways, back to where I was. So, Charlene was telling me that I was emotionally withdrawn from her and everybody else ever since she left to Australia. I did not do it intentionally, but I really was tired from caring for a while. Guess that kinda just made me cold. You see, things happens in many funny ways and this is one of them. Funny thing was, I thought I was fine while Charlene was in Australia for two weeks because I really did not feel that I was crazily missing her while she was away (unlike the last time). It turns out, I was wrong. It was because I had withdrawn myself while she was there, that I manage to not feel anything. And thus, I grew cold. Plus, what I was thinking and pondering about did not help the situation one bit. I got real cold.

That evening, we spent, I think, about an hour talking about this. It took a while to realize what I had done to myself and that how I miss my passion for knowledge. I stopped caring because I could not stand feeling, and because of that, most of me went along with it. I live my life based on intuition, and if without feeling, I could not do nothing - that's why I was so cold (epiphany!). After we talked and after me telling her what was up my ass for the past months, I was alright again, but of course, I need some time to get back. I still feel I'm that ass of a person still.

Awh wells. Things will soon set back in place. Plus I tengah PMS-ing :P . That would explain most of the reason to it - best excuse ever!

Anyways, I'm heading off to watch How I Met Your Mother. It's a damn good show. Cheerio y'all!

The Deaf Couple

2009-07-26T01:15:00.003+08:00

heyas. So, many of you know I am working in Midvell for 4days. Yea, I know there isn't much to talk about, but I stumble across something real interesting today. I came across..

a deaf couple.

Yeah, you heard me right - a deaf couple. They were married and both of them are deaf. The only source of communication between them is hand signals. Yes, they do read lips, but hand signals works better. They were in the Maybank fair surveying for usable washing machines. Funny thing was, when I first approach them, I thought they were arrogant for not even replying when I greeted them "may I help you?" I dare not assume they were deaf because it will impolite to call someone deaf if they really are not deaf. After standing there for about, 5minutes, I finally confirmed that they were deaf. I knew the minute when the wife, search for a Toshiba brochure but could not find it. She did not ask her husband verbally, but instead was searching and scouting with the papers on her husband's hands. So then, I confirmed they were deaf. I realized she was looking for the brochure so I quickly took and gave it to them. They were very pleased that I actually bother to serve them.

Yes, communicating with the deaf was sure harder, but it wasn't too hard for me so I manage to go along with it. I could understand the basic things that they were asking me, such as where was it manufactured, how's the repair, what's the lifespan; the wife of the couple, even asked me if Sharp is good. haha. I told them that Sharp is alright, but Toshiba's better. All that while, I was actually communicating with them via simple hand signals and body language. I don't know any crazy complicated ones, but I do know the simple body language that can be understood. In the end, I manage to persuade them that Toshiba is good with their washing machine, that it is very durable. Unfortunately, they did not manage to buy because they did not have enough points to claim. They wanted to get the machine already, but the points were just not enough. They were disappointed.

After that, the wife did something that I think means "swipe more so we are able to claim because we left a bit more". So I told them, when you have enough points, do come back and we were issue a bill for you. Well, technically, I did not tell them, but you get the drill. And so they left. They were so pleased with my service. haha. That, in fact, made my night. Because, unlike a lot, other promoters, I actually treat them like customers, compare prices for them, recommend which is good, even if they are deaf. I don't see why we should separate the least fortunate with, us, normal people.

haha. If you think I am posting this just to blow my own horns, you are wrong. haha. I am actually posting this because to serve that married couple made my night. Also, they made me feel great! haha this not because of me being able to persuade them, but of me being able to communicate with them. I feel really good after that. haha. I even manage to tell them via body language to trust me because I know for a fact that Toshiba is a real good brand and that it's durable. You should've see the looks on their faces, they were really happy that someone actually came and served them. haha. We manage to communicate for about 20minute before they found out that they cannot combine points to redeem, otherwise, they would've bought already. haha. I love that married couple. Very sweet people.I hope they come back tomorrow :)

Anyways, I'm heading to bed now. Tomorrow's going to be crazy! Wish me luck yaw! toodlessss!

2009-07-22T22:14:00.001+08:00

Elvis Costello - She Lyrics

She
May be the face I can't forget
The trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay
She
May be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day

She
May be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
The smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem
Inside her shell

She
Who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry
She
May be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I'll remember till the day I die

She
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough in ready years
Me
I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is

She
She, oh she

the break of dawn

2009-07-22T02:20:00.007+08:00

There she was, standing in front of my very own eyes, under the imaginary light that was shone from the Heavens above. Perhaps it was her who had really showed me life, her that had brought me to the light, her that had brought real joy to me, yeah perhaps. Her beautiful hair swung from left to right, somehow in a slow motioned picture in my view, to rid her fridge from her oh so flawless face. Everything about her has stopped my heart from beating, thus skipping a beat regardless of my already weak heartbeat. A breath of fresh air is what she is, it was as if I was drowning in the sea and she came, running to save me. Ahhh, sweet sight of love, where have you been all these years? Have you not heard me call from afar? It has been a while as I had once promised you to keep these love in me so it is one day enough to blow an angel away to be human, so that this poor, tortured soul is finally loved. Oh sweet misery, you have tortured me so.

An angel came down upon my fall, ironically seeking for my very help. I heard her calling from afar and with that it brought me to her from wherever I was. Oh, a broken wing she had. I helped her out, patched her up and lend her a shelter and shoulder to stay and lay on. Eventually, love slowly grew and we had a mutual understanding of one another. And so she left, leaving me hanging to my emotions of doubt and sorrow. It was indeed lonely.

Days went pass, months went by, but there were no sign of her anywhere. Though, I did not searched for her, but my emotions sure did. Oh, how I miss the chemistry, the words she used, the love she could give. I go to bed every night longing for what I have got but threw away for the floating words which I had myself to believe. It was indeed real sad..

One fine day, she decided to return to my very life and God, I was never happier. I know it was impossible, but I have longed for the feel of connection, the feel of known, and the feel of being loved. The Heavens had heard what I was thinking and had sent her back to my arms. It happened within mere days. It was a great day for me; even though, I know there is no way one can be in love with an angel. I love her every move and her every move stops my heart from beating. Perhaps it was her, perhaps it was her who actually showed me...life.

p.s. random ... err... whatever you call it that was inspired by some cina song =P

I wish you knew
the truth
about
how i
feel

wordswordswords.

2009-07-18T02:33:00.005+08:00

words of EVERthing

keeps playing in my head

have you ever FALLEN?

knowing you can never have?

IN deep thoughts we think alike

LOVE one another for we live only once

be strong and fight for your rights

WITH full smiles and joy

we will for sure one day get it

be with SOMEONE you can love

find for something great

always be humble

think of the positive

one WHO is great

be great and there for YOU will win

words words words

KNOW your stuff before you act

be tough so you can be strong

be brave so YOU can help yourself up

because we CAN'T afford to fail

perhaps, yeah.

do you appreciate what you HAVE?

thoughts in my head are swimming

all over the place.

A New Beginning?

2009-07-14T20:00:00.005+08:00

Holla peeps! I'm back. I am suddenly having a crazy craving for chocolate. Perhaps later I will go get one for myself. Something really odd happened just now. I know I wasn't asleep in the evening, but somehow, right now, I feel as if I just woke up (also with that ringing headache). I only felt as if my body was rested, but I did not sleep. I was just watching videos from my laptop. That is just weird la. Anyhow, on the side note, everything is slowly getting back into place. I don't know why, but I feel so. haha. For the past few weeks I've been feeling nothing but a crazy tense and stress, but now, somehow, everything is slowly coming back.

And I don't know why, but I feel as if things have changed over the weeks. As if nothing is like how it used to be? haha. But it's for the better I think. One thing's for sure...I've been really happy. haha. Reason to why I am happy? haha hmm..I just am! haha. keke...

Anyways, I wanted to post out of sheer boredom, so forgive me. haha. I'm out to get my chocolates now :) bubbyes!

I know it may not be true,
but can I still remain close to you?
Perhaps one day you'll realize,
that what you feel is not a lie

Poetic Cradle

2009-07-14T01:48:00.006+08:00

Your Whisper
you are my like little Petunia, my flower of grace,
you turn my world upside down with that smile on your face.
with words so comforting like no other,
you sure my made my world so much better.

you painted my life with full of colours,
also got me out from the world of bummers.
you are a treasure i will forever keep,
never have you disapprove of my wondrous leap.

my dear, you are one of a kind,
one that will forever be mine.
every word i say, i say it true,
never once have i not think of you.

you came into my world, showing me joy,
also respected me and not playing me like a toy.
my world is now all light and sunshine,
all thanks to you my love, my baby of mine.

p.s. random post. not meant to be directed to anyone.

The Man Behind The Glass Window

2009-07-13T02:42:00.007+08:00

Heyas peeps! I am back and finally with something to blog about. haha. Anyhow, it has been a crazy weekend - in a good way. I had so much fun the past two days! First I went for Mad to Max, which was on Friday, and then Charlene's brother, Ken's Wedding on Saturday! I have to say, it was real nice to be out there again :) it feels so goooood. haha.

Anyways, talking about the event that I went for, it was a inter-college Hip-hop dance competition. It was held in Euphoria, organized by HELP University College. There was a series of colleges that entered in the fight for RM1000. If I am not mistaken, there was around 5-6 teams that entered, and there were THREE teams from Taylor's College. Unfortunately, none of them got into the finals. Every teams would have to dance their way to the finals in order to win. The finals will consist a team of two, battling it out for the win.

Like I said before, even though Taylor's College manage to enter three teams, unfortunately they did not get in; however, the teams that manage to get into the finals were the team from TAR College and the team from MMU collaborated with SEGi College. In my own opinion, from the start, team Dynamixs, which is the team from MMU+SEGi College, has powned all other teams. This is very well because team Dynamixs's dance moves were really synchronized and they were, in fact, dancing as one and not as individuals. So who won? Take a wild guess ;)

Later on the night, we went on partying in Euphoria, opened a bottle and danced all night. After my experience in Euphoria, I don't really like it. The crowd was sorta immature and I was actually expected the place to be bigger, but no, it is actually real small. hms..haha. The drinks are actually expensive too, but after that night of drinking, I am off heavy drinking for real. My gosh...It was really bad. I never felt that feeling of puking that bad after drinking whiskey before. I loved whiskey, but God knows why I can't seem to take it anymore. haha. For now, I'll just stick to wine and bits of beer =]

Anyways, after that one rough night of drinking and dancing, I move on to another great day; Ken and Emma's Wedding. Woke up first thing in the morning to get ready for the BIG day :) . The wedding mass was held in Ken's very church that he and his family went since he was young, which was in Good Shepard Church. It was a simple yet very beautiful wedding. Nick, Colin and I got there JUST in time for the mass. haha. Though after that day, I am not a big fan of church mass, but it feels great to be a part of it :) . The mass started at 10.30am and ended around 11.45am. Then everyone make their way out to the hall for a lunch reception. Ken and Emma looked really great together and they were so in love and happy :) . It was sure an honour to be there.

The lunch reception ended around 2.30pm, and it is also when Nick, Colin, Charlene and I made our way out of church. We went to Von's to get Charlene's slideshow fixed for later the night where by her slideshow of Emma and Ken will be shown in the wedding dinner reception, in Chorus Hotel. It had a bit of problem, but was fixed momentarily. So, the dinner was held in Chorus Hotel, which is not too far away from KLCC. The dinner supposedly started by 7.30pm, but Malaysian being Malaysians, the guests only fully arrived at 8.30pm. Even though, it started late, it was still a blast! I had so much fun.

The wedding dinner only ended at 12.30am, but because we were staying back for a lil bit, we stayed till 1am. The dinner was good, but the food was kinda...crappy. haha. Anyhow, the best thing about the wedding was the dance. Everyone started dancing at 10pm till 12.30am non-stop! haha. It was a great crowd. Eurasians, I tell you, they really know how to boogey!. heehee. It was real great to be a part of the wedding, I really enjoyed myself - with the dancing especially! It was great. After we left the hotel, haha, Von, Nick, and I decided to go for a round of Left4Dead in v2! hahaha. I sent Colin off because he wanted to go home. He was really tired. Anyways, we gamed till 3am from around 1.45am. haha. It was great fun, really.

Well, that's what happened during my weekend. It was real fun and real great experience (of the wedding). I would soooooooo get married to a Eurasian just 'coz they have great wedding reception. It is wayyy more romantic than Chinese weddings are. haha. Anyways, I am heading to bed now. Planning to skip Computing again :P . Goodnights all and take care.

LaneHoz wants to show you a time of your life

p.s. i am lazy to upload the pics from the two days..hehe

Apa Nih? haha.

2009-07-07T18:38:00.003+08:00

God, I am just sooo lazy to go to class. haha. Anyways, heh..PIG IS BACK!! :D She is back from Australia just yesterday. Due to the H1N1 virus, their family are advised to quarantine themselves for at least a week to prevent any chance of the virus spreading. I, for one, did not care, along with a bunch of my friends, Nick, Von and Colin. haha. We went to see her yesterday itself because we missed her way too much to wait another week hehe. It feels good to have her back in Malaysia; things are just not the same without her around y'know? ;)

So..Today's a Tuesday. haha, we all know that. And as usual, I will do my Tuesdays routine with Pig by following her to college. haha. Pig didn't bother to quarantine herself because she has got better things to do. haha. Anyways, we went extra early today because she had to get some things done. After having lunch with her and her other friend, Kaithiri, they head back to college and I stayed in summit to steal some WiFi from the nearest Kopitiam heh..It was 12pm then.

At 2pm, I received a call from Pig. She was like.."eh dude! let's ciao", I was like..huh? "so early?", and haha what'dya know? She was chased out form her college because she is quarantined for a week from college! hahaahahha! It was hilarious. Her lecturer was saying that everyone who is back from Australia has to be excused from college due to the H1N1 virus, for a week! hahaha! Life wtf? hahaha. She was so God damn amused. She got chased out, not because of anything bad, but because she is quarantined! LOL. wtf?! LOL. But then again, she came from Perth and Perth is clean from H1N1. haha.

My gosh..Who would've known eh? LOL. Just when you think they are not serious about these quarantine business. LOL. haha. Anyways, that's all I got for now. haha. Till next time! :)

A Tribute

2009-06-28T03:14:00.002+08:00

As most of us already know, our very own, the 'King of Pop', also known as Michael Jackson, has passed away on June 25th (America's date) due to a sudden Cardiac Arrest (a fancy word for heartattack), in his own residence, in L.A. The time of death was approximately, around, 2.30pm (in America), which means it was 2.30am here when it happened. His 'departure' was so sudden, that it shocked the whole music industry and the entire world as well. He was truly a legend (though I, personally, don't really favour his music, but some are pretty, damn nice!). His music was great to some, but life-changing to a lot. Fans all over the world mourns his death through whatever ways they can get their hands on; internet, music, art, poetry, videos of tribute, etc.

This is a tribute from me to our very own, the 'King of Pop'.

“In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.”

-Michael Jackson-

He was a loving person and always wanted nothing but good for the world, especially children. He sees the world from the view of a very hopeful man, a man with a near impossible dream. This dream of his, has pushed him so far that he held charity concerts, produce songs to send out messages, starting all sorts of causes, and more. Though it seems impossible, but he kept on hoping and believing that his dream of...

making this world

A BETTER PLACE

will one day be achieved.

R.I.P Michael Jackson
You will always be remembered

----

2009-06-27T18:35:00.000+08:00

I have absolutely nothing to blog about. haha.

-----the end-----

hahaha.

nothing, really

2009-06-21T02:11:00.006+08:00

my love for you is crazier than the sea of fire,
my love for you is greater than the strongest wind can blow.
my love, you set my soul on fire,
but sadly, I had to let you go.

never, did i ever forgot about you,
maybe i have for just a 'lil while.
despite the fact that we live in a world of two,
you never did left my mind, not with your warm smile.

you were my life, my soul, my heart,
and also my greatest gift from the Gods.
you are like a living piece of moving art,
painting my everyday with colours and flowers of all sorts.

even though i know you and i are different,
but it is because of that we were so alike.
thank you for saving me, for helping me learn,
it is definitely you that i forever will like.

i love you but sadly, you do not know that,
all my past affords are, as usual, in vain.
i love you and i hope you know that,
sometimes, it's best we do not know the game.

p.s. i don't know why i wrote that. lol. depressed kot.

p.s.s. this is just another random entry if you're getting your imagination all wild. lol.

The 'Work'ing Mind

2009-06-08T15:01:00.012+08:00

Heya loyal peeps. I'm back again with another post about another thing I would like, again to share with you people *laughs to herself*. In a short while I will be sitting for my marketing quiz II and I have yet studied (damn). I feel rather fatigue-ish today so I wouldn't even bother to. If I could, I would skip even. Anyways, I am again, blogging from my college computer lab because I have nothing better to do (denying the fact that I need to study) and also I am too sleepy and tired to be movin' around the corridor. And that would mean..after the quiz, I will go straight home to sleep. LOL. Though..this next quiz is a short answer quiz, which I sort of dread coz I do not know anything about Marketing. I am just not a business-minded person. bleagh.

Anyways, pig is coming back in two days! :D Can't wait for her return. Thank goodness I am fetching her, otherwise I have no idea when I am able to see her next. I am dying as it is...sorta. I can still live, but it would be better having her around. lol. Sometimes I do wonder to myself how am I going to live without her in my life. lol. Only God knows.

Many of you may have known that I've been working over the weekends, and a shocking 12 hours job too >.<. What more but as a sales promoter at a crappy place somewhere near my residential area? haha. I work part-time for Toshiba at Carefour, for those who don't know about it. I work in Wangsa Maju branch of Carefour, and ain't easy, mind you. To promote and know every bits about the product is harder than you think. To top that off, imagine 12 hours of constant standing..It's just is so tiring. I haven't had proper rest because of my work. I am going to work one last time tomorrow to help my friend out. This time, I am going to face the market alone (time to curik tulang). I hope I am able to sell something off tomorrow. I really want to. haha. For those of you who want to come see me work (or buy something hopefully :P), come to Carefour, Wangsa Majy, the electronics side where all the stock clearance corner is located. haha. Come! I will be bored. heh..

I don't believe I got a blister on my heel coz of work. Crazy eh? haha. Anyways, I'm off here. Tired. Will catch yaz around yo! Have fun and good luck to those who are having exams in Degree! :D

Toodles!

Makerting Quiz II : Today at 3.30pm

Computing Word Presentation : Next Wednesday

Mid-term Examination : 2 weeks from now

signing off

p.s. : i miss pig...

Work = Hell

2009-06-07T00:19:00.002+08:00

Omg. Who would've known to work is so tiring. I almost forgot the feel of working until today, and mind you it doesn't feel good one bit. My feet are aching! The last time I stood for so long was like what?..3 years ago? Working for Disney. Ever since then, I did not work until now.

So, what's the deal with me suddenly working? Well, I am now currently working under my friend, Ee Von as a part-time Toshiba promoter. Today was my first job. Well actually...It wasn't mine to begin with with. My other friend was supposed to be working but since she's not feeling well, Von called me to replace her for two days. So yea, here I am, working for my weekend (that initially i planned to sleep in).

I'm working and promoting for Carefour (which i hate) and omg..already I hate the work. The management sucks like shit, staff there aren't too friendly, and the senior promoters tend to bully the juniors. Wtf..Somehow, everything to them is a competition (which technically is). They are not friendly one bit. If they can, they want to sabotage you and constantly critisizing your promo products. ...>.<. Dumbfucks.

Anyways, work today was alright. There are a lot customers though. Though, none of them bought anything, but we (my friend and I) promoted a lot. We ALMOST sold one washing machine of $1999.99. ALMOST. haha. But that lady forgot that particular credit card and so she left. She's coming back tomorrow though :D Yeay! First sale! $$ Cha-Ching! ;D The end of the day, we also manage to sell off the DVD player which cost $156.00. heh..

Anyways, I'm going off now. Tired from work and facebook is giving me hell. Seeyas!

Montessori Philosophy

2009-06-04T22:25:00.001+08:00

Holla peeps. Sorry for the late updates, but I have been indeed very busy. So what's going on? Nothing much actually. Tomorrow Charlene is heading to Singapore for her Supervisory Training with Olivia *yaiks*. Five days of no Pig..Grr...

On the side note, my assignments are finally up and running (except for my marketing). I haven't been having the mood to actually study until two days ago. It is weird how I need a push to get myself back on track. What happened two days ago? Well, two days ago, I attended a talk called An Hour with Mr Lee Havis regarding on Charlene's course, which is Montessori. I love the talks that her college department in SEGi college, Subang Jaya organizes. Their talk are always very much beneficial. I somehow can NEVER find those in HELP University College. I love these talks, it boost me to keep going on and to continue what I am doing.

What? What is Montessori? I am not surprised if you have no idea what Montessori is. Well, here I am going to tell you what is Montessori is all about.

Montessori - The word was originated from Dr. Maria Montessori, founder of Montessori Philosophy. Montessori aims on studying as well as to help the development of an individual from birth to maturity within the background of his/her life-situations. Montessori is a sort of early childhood education, but the method used by Montessori practitioners are different from an early childhood teacher. You will be amazed by how different is different if I were to explain to you one by one.

Anyways, Montessori states that "A child's work is to create the person she/he will become". Montessori practitioners believes that a child should be given the freedom to use their inborn powers to develop physically, intellectually, and spiritually. Every child is born with a talent, and those talent can be found and implied into their own lives with proper guidance. Most people in the world today stresses on academics, and because of that, the child's initial goal to find their own inner talent has gone. They were left with no choice but to score good with their grades and have no other room for anything else. Montessori is very much against with just academics.

A child's mind works wonders. It is also very much young and fresh, which therefore able to learn a lot. But if we were to restrict them from a lot, they will not have a chance to explore what are their inner talent and need for life. A child is capable of doing a lot. They want to learn every single thing they see and touch if possible. We should never restrict their option, but to keep it open and let them explore to see which is best suite them. We, in fact, do not know what a child is capable of doing. I know most parents ended up deciding for their child(ren) because they think their child(ren) do not know how to choose for themselves. On the contrary to that, a child do know how to think for themselves. We should never underestimate them.

In short, Montessori is a study or a method to help a child develop their inner talent so the child can become what they want to become. Different from most pre-school, Montessori allows the child to roam about the classroom with very limited condition, if possible, none. As long as the child knows the basic rules and regulation such as, putting the materials back in place once it is used. A child should not restricted but to be given the freedom to explore, and with that, I am done with my blog today.

haha. have a good night everyone.

Computing Word Report : Week 7

Marketing Quiz 2 : Monday (8/6)

Midterm Examination : Week 8 (approx. 3 weeks from now)

signing off

p.s. : i need to start burning the songs and videos for pig to bring to olivia.

The Evil Sloth Speaks

2009-05-29T10:12:00.005+08:00

I am lazy. Lazy, lazy, lazy. Right now, I am supposed to have class and yet I skipped because I see no point of 2 hours of exempted Computer Lab class. Even so, last week I nearly died of boredom searching for information about E-Commerce for my report, which is soon due, during the class. Thank God there isn't Marketing class today. I am way too lazy to be going. It's a 35minutes drive from here to college, and it gets tiresome after a while. Gosh.

It's the 4th week of college and already I feel so lazy to attend the classes. I've already skipped a total of 12 or 13 classes? Considering each subjects on different days. But yea, 12 to 13 classes already in the 4th week. You tell me whether this is hardcore shit or not. I am just so lazy. College isn't what it used to be. It is now boring and dull. And I've got no one I can stick around to hang out. Everyone's...just so different and somehow on a different level from me. Great. I feel like stopping and starting anew elsewhere.

On the side note, I am heading to Euphoria tonight. Whee..(I think). I've only got 100bucks with me to get there. Plus, I am fetching everyone here and there. Gosh. That's the reason why we do not mingle with bosses, and it's that we can never say no. Not that I want to anyways. heh..I've finally got a reason to get out of this sad excuse of a ~~prison~~ home to go out for once. I am trapped as a dog in my house, I tell you. Every night there will be an alarm on without a doubt, so to sneak out is a bloody waste of time and energy. The alarm is very damn loud too if you trigger it (I sometimes trigger it for fun to scare the neighbours..heh..). So yea, I'm trapped like a dog in a cage.

Hm..since I've got nothing to do right now..I should think up on what I can do today..first..

1. Finally continue my Final Fantasy game on Playstation 2.
2. Get some good food because I feel like utter crap.
3. Think of what to wear tonight to portray a good image >.<.
4. Start composing possible chords for Charlene's new Rock song.
5. Do not spend that 100bucks I borrowed from mum.
6. [IMPORTANT] Constantly check mailbox for HELP mails that is mailed to dad!

You must be wondering why should I check the mailbox constantly. Well, it is because, as you all know, I've skipped a numbers of classes and there are BOUND to be warning letters. So, to save myself some yelling, I'm going to get the letter at hand before it gets to dad. If it does, I'll be in hell a lot trouble. *yaiks*.

Anyways, I am going to off to do my things now. Will catch you all laters.

toodles.

Krazy (now jump up let's get krazy! :P)

2009-05-29T02:13:00.004+08:00

OMG! I feel so stressed! The best part is I don't even know why! Gosh. I am supposed to be sound asleep now for I have class at not 12pm, not 2, but 10am! which means I got to wake up really, really, REALLY early. My goodness, gracious. I hope I can faster work and faster get some cash at hand. I really need it. My gosh..Tomorrow I'm heading out with my ex-boss and I need the cash 'coz we are heading to Euphoria >.<" . Bloody far. I can't say no to her because, well.., she's my boss! >.<"" .

What I heard was that a really good friend of ours (yes, I don't mean it) suggested to head towards Euphoria instead of The Asian Heritage Row. So now the battle is:

VS

they both look scarily alike..

which also means, cheaper versus the more expensive. But I mean..Heritage Row is so much closer to home. Plus I need to get them from Danau Kota, which is in Stapak, to Sunway. That is pretty damn far. If it were to be Heritage Row, it'd be more closer. I do not mind bringing them here and there, but do consider the option of the driver eh?..I am getting them from Times Square to Danau Kota already for dinner, it would be wiser to head to Heritage Row. That is 'coz to go to Heritage Row from Stapak isn't too bad of a distance, but from Stapak to Sunway?..Gosh..That's a killer. Plus the fees for tolls?..Suicide x_x . Plus, I am most probably to send them to Midvell, back to their hotels afterwards. Oh wells..lol. It's all for the fun..right?..I just hope my mom agrees to lend me some cash at hand..>.<.

Oh gosh..I feel so stressed. Thank God there isn't Marketing class tomorrow. Otherwise, I got to stay back until 4pm. You can ONLY imagine how tired and sleepy I will be tomorrow if there is a Marketing class. Oh, by the way, I came across this really, superbly, funny picture! Check it out.

Who WAS Adlof Hitler?

haha! Hilarious. It's amazing how people can answer such answers in their paper! It's hilarious. I guess this fella isn't smarter or rather "as smart" as those kids in that stupid TV show 'Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?' haha. That show is so sad. So, so sad. Why would they put adults in such position where they to prove to the world that they are dumber than a 5th grader? That is dumb. haha :P . And those who participate, they are dumb to show the world that they're dumb. haha. Of course 5th graders are genuises! They are just 11 years old and that is the time where kids manage to absorb most of their knowledge. Gosh..haha.

Omg..I need those relaxing breaks man..I just do. Just like this one picture I found haha :P .

OCTOPUS!! =]

haha. Anyways, I think I should hit the sacks now. Will catch you all later. Nighties.

Business Quiz Postponed : Next Thursday

Computing Principles Quiz : (unknown day) Next week

Business Outline due date : Next Thursday (after quiz)

Computing Principles Words report due date : week 7 (appx. 2weeks from now)

Signing off

p.s. i feel sticky..(yes, i've taken my shower)

Can You Hear Me Whispering?

2009-05-27T02:21:00.005+08:00

sometimes, i have reasons to why i don't choose to talk. i have all the answers in the world and it's all in me, fearing to come out, afraid of what the responses are because it is normally turned down or being yelled at.

Do we know it all? Nope, we don't.

I'm sorry for not making this blog interesting enough. It is more of my space to vent, virtually. haha. I have no interest in posting up photos and talk about them photos unless I have the mood to. It is just too much work for me. Plus, my computer is annoyingly slow so, it isn't advisable. Once again I am trying to stop using the word 'lol' from my virtual vocabulary. It seems that I am using once too often. Hms..who would've known eh?..

I hate that my blog is constantly about me and what I think of the world. I hate it, but this is the only place I can really pour my everything to. Call it a virtual diary, I'd like to call it a healthy session of venting or ranting heh..I feel sort of better after blogging. Sort of. It used to work a lot back in the days; not so much nowadays. I honestly do not know what happened there. Perhaps, it is one of those phases. I know I used to get addicted to blooging. Now, it is just impossible for me to do so because I am lazy and I have nothing to talk about. Even if I do, it'd be the same thing again and again so, there's no point.

So today, I went to Summit, yet again. It's my Tuesdays routine for the next three month. I follow Charlene to USJ, Subang Jaya, to her college while I hang at the cafe around the area until she is done with her class. And again, do not ask me why am I so nice, I just am. Put a sock to it already. Today, I got lectured three times by two different people which annoyed the living hell out of me, but I cannot do anything but to listen. Ugh..sometimes I just wished they'd listen to my side of the story without judging it or rather, understand it. But no harm done la..It's all for the better.

I am somehow very much distracted tonight, which made me sleepless even though I am super tired. I do not know what's exactly in my mind. Can't really pin-point it for me to even say what's wrong. Perhaps it is the time of the month coming its way. I hope it is.

Anyways, I am going to start working soon. With Toshiba. Gonna start promoting home appliances for Toshiba. I just hope I do not freeze when I get the job. Electronics was never my best thing to remember about. Oh which reminds me, I need to get some slacks for work too. Geez...so many thing to get, so lil cash at hand.

I should be sleeping now. It's close to 3am already. Gotta wake up in two hours time. Hopefully I can. aih..

Goodnight all. Sweet dreams.

Wooot

2009-05-26T17:24:00.008+08:00

wooow...

I finally saw the owner of Uncle John's kopitiam for the first time! LOL. Anways..

I notice I haven't update in a while now. So, yea, I'm gonna update a bit. heh..This weekend is gonna be a blast! Gonna hit the 'cybers' to kick some zombie and alien invasion asses. haha.

Left 4 Dead!

and also
Comand and Conquer 3!

Woooh! Two of the most rad games now! wuahaha! haha. Anyways, I've updated my playlist with yes, Adam Lambert's version of No Boundaries, single! So happy I manage to find it. Really love his voice. And Kris's too nonetheless :)

The two Idols,

were clearly very close to winning, but to the world's surprise, our 23 year old, Kris Allen got the title instead of the ever-so-great, Adam Lambert who's at the age of 27. To a lot, Adam deserve the title of 'American Idol' because he is more of a star than Kris will ever be. For me, though, they're both equally good and both have their own speciality :) . Love the both to bits. Can't wait for their albums to be released.

Meanwhile, I am now wifi-ing from Uncle John's Kopitiam (my usual Tuesday routine).

This place here is nothing but like all 'kopitiams' are. Great with their coffee and nasi lemak. haha. Nothing too special about this place. LOL. But we do get really good wifi for a really cheap price :) depending on what you order (the $2.30 teh ais) ;) haha.

Anyways, that's all from me for now :) Don't what else to update haha.

Business Quiz : This Thursday

Peace out

The Stranger Within

2009-05-16T01:31:00.005+08:00

Everyone has a stranger inside of them. A stranger that they have yet to discover. This stranger is someone that can either wreck you or someone that can fix you. It depends solely at how you want to see it though. This stranger lives inside of you for many years, wearing your clothes, seeing with your eyes, touching with your skin and walking with your feet. This stranger is also your subconscious telling you to move away so this new person can come out from your small 'hell hole' of a body. This stranger - is me.

There could be a way to turn back, but this power, this emotionless being feels the greater deal of a person than that timid, laughing freak. The constant battle of these two constantly happens and sometimes, the darkside wins the best, or in this case, bad case. This self-centered, emotionless, and jerkish person just wants to come out to destroy the other happy, bubbly fucker that constantly gets battered. Enough is enough, it thought.

Is it even advisable to remain to be this dark and cold person that she never meant to be? Possibly. If she wants to. This stranger just wants to come out and kick the timid, bubbly asshole's face because it always lets everything slip by, and hurt whatever ego this dark figure has. Yeah, it has a very high ego sense, but the bubbly side just kept pushing it down to remain the peace and balance. It is just isn't enough for the darkside, not enough. It couldn't stand to be battered again and again without having a say to it.

"but I don't know how to fight back and I hate causing trouble"

Then stay the fuck off says the darkside. It wants to come out to beat the crap out of the people who has pushed its ego down low on the ground and still want to step on it because its fun to. Yes, it is fun, it is, but the darkside just wants to come out and slap those who finds it fun at teasing because whether everyone like it or not, it damages. Fuck it, it says. Slap the people who did it.

Not letting the darkside win, the light came into play and tell justice on the idiot. The darkside says,

"Idiots! Idiots who don't know how to hold their tongues and you're asking me to hold back because it's the right thing to do?? How is that justice MR.MAN??!" sarcastically.

Justice, pointed out the light.

"Whether we like it or not, telling people off straight in their face is just plain rude and uneducated. It is only done by people who cares not of others feeling and we are more than that, we have a good heart. Battered soul and ego, but good heart. Our master is great! So justice it is. Whether you like it or not"

"Yeah, yeah" replied the darkside. But it refuses to sit and do nothing and still get battered from the back and being teased for no reason. So it decided to act on its own and take over whatever it can to its own advantage. It was working for a while, just for a lil while. But it failed so badly. The light still wants to shine through anyways. "Justice!"

---------------

ignore me..fighting with my own emotions isn't a very easy thing to do.

bear with me for just a few days.

or however long it takes.

i really dont know.

it's not you, it's me

sorry..

Lanehoz may have dual personality

Alive? Not Anymore.

2009-05-12T13:58:00.004+08:00

We but of human beings trying to survive this ratcheted world. Constantly strive for companion we continue to venture this big, but yet very small world. Everyone knows each other one way or another. Life is like a circle, it goes to the other end and back to its initial start.

I don't really know how people can be happy most of the time. I really don't. I wish I do though. Grr..whatever man.

There isn't much I want to say today. I don't really have the mood to talk about anything. lol. ah well..toodles.

-over and out-

p.s. my bloody fucking, wtf-ing .. is a bloody fucking, asshole fucker, ASS! AN ASS!! a fucking bitchy, mother-fucking ass! AN ASSHOLE MOTHERFUCKING ASS!!!! GARH!!!!!!!!!!!! BLOODY FUCKING HELL!!!!!

Lanehoz misses the times when she was genuinely alive..

"Let the head do the talking. Heart, stay the fuck out"

2009-05-11T22:56:00.006+08:00

Sometimes all we need is just some company; some company to makes us feel a 'lil better, some company to make us a little less alone, and some company to keep us going. Yeah..all we need is some company. I know I tend to feel lonely, especially when my hormones decides to eat me up, but loneliness is something I cannot help feeling. It's written all over me (no kidding). I wish loneliness is not something one have to face, but it indeed is. I wish I could runaway and not think of it, but dang, I can't. I just..can't.

Sometimes all we need is some reassurance; the same reassurance that one friend give to another, the same reassurance that will keep another sane, and the same reassurance that will binds two individuals together. Yeah..reassurance..Haven't got that in a while now. I did, sort of though; and that is one reassurance that I need to keep on going. But, is it enough?..Conclusion is that we are still human beings, and human beings constantly needs more and more. As greedy as I may sound, but, I need to hear them somehow. Or perhaps I am just imbalance.

Is it this hard to get a positive stroke? Yes. Yes, it is. It is indeed very hard to. To me at least. I, for one, never really had a proper positive stroke (word or physically). It has always been negative or none at all. Most of the time it's none at all. lol. Nowadays though, I've been getting bits and pieces from my parents, but...it is way too late for me to feel it. I am no longer in the stage where family comes to play. I guess there is also a good side to this. Being able to stand loneliness like no other; sure it is torturing, but I can stand it like a lot can't, and I'm thankful for that..I guess?

aih..this is torturing. Having imbalanced hormones without having a proper reason to commence any conversation to make myself feel a 'lil less alone. Gosh. aih..awh well..gotta live with it for the next few days. Just when we think having a reason to be depressed is bad; try having absolutely no reason to be depressed. It's torture. Plain, cruel, emotional torture.

I think I should leave now. toodles. take care all.

-over and out-

LaneHoz:
what's more torturing than leaving me a whole day without food?
it is me having imbalance hormones with absolutely no reason for me to talk, vent or cry.
my gosh. this is torturing.

"What Difference a Day Makes"

2009-05-10T11:07:00.007+08:00

"You never know the biggest day of your life is the biggest day. Not until it's happening. You don't recognize the biggest day of your life, not until you're right in the middle of it. The day you commit to something or someone. The day you get your heart broken. The day you meet your soul mate. The day you realize there's not enough time, because you wanna live forever. Those are the biggest days. The perfect days, you know?"

-Dr. Isabel Stevens, Greys Anatomy
Thursday's episode, 7th May 09;
What Difference a Day Makes

I heard the most brilliant quote ever from my ultimate favourite TV show, Grey's Anatomy. Though that TV show is full with drama and a lot don't really understand the show because of its drama, but all of those aside, they actually have marvellous quote. Quotes that links to your own lives, quotes that makes you realize, quotes that is worth listening to its every word.

Last episode was a great one; the best I've seen so far of all of the episodes of Season 5. I guess the 100th episode did left the world with a blast eh? It was awesome, sad, and realizing. We do not know what's going to happen to Izzie though; whether she's going to die in the season finale or is she not, but I, personally, highly doubt it. But that episode, best so far. Grey's Anatomy never seize to surprise me week by week. Awesome show.

If you all have never watched it, you all should catch it. ;D It's awesome. So damn awesome. For their medicines, drama, lines, everything. Story especially. Great show.

-Over and out-

Lanehoz loves the latest episode of Grey's

Sometimes..

2009-05-03T22:50:00.003+08:00

"I knew something like this is going to happen..well..it did.."

Perhaps it is time.

The Constant Struggle For Perfection

2009-04-30T11:12:00.009+08:00

Perhaps it was us who made life possible to live. Those who strive to be a better person and those who do whatever they can to make life worth living. But sometimes, just sometimes, it is hard for us to feel that way - that contentment for life. Life is depressing, and yeah, I admit that with all my heart. Though, there are some moments where things were good and perfect, but that moment normally will not last.

Perfectly imperfect - something which I love to observe. Everyone is imperfect in their own way, and with that, it made them perfect in their own way as well. I love watching the small details of human life that makes people crack smiles and laugh at their silliness. Perfection is not something I would want to find, but rather their imperfection that makes every second worth while to be around. Searching perfection may seem hard to a lot, but it is sure easy for me. Imperfection on the other hand, is hard to find because people tend to cover it up with their 'perfection' and 'charm'. pfft.

Time to time we have the need to be perfect, but has it occur to you that you already are? Perhaps, in the eyes of another? Just be who you are and never fake what you really are because as time goes by, our colour WILL show.

-over and out-

p.s. will be away to hometown at Gemencheh, Negeri Sembilan for a day. i'm still very much lazy to upload the trip photos. lol =P . anyways, have fun everyone.

and to all the hardworking teens, young adults and adults, HAPPY LABOUR DAY! have a great holiday. do go for ice-cream with your dearest ones. =)

LaneHoz wants to eat =)

Lazy =P

2009-04-28T10:50:00.001+08:00

Lol. Pictures from Melacca will soon be loaded. just wait.

Great Company vs Letting Go

2009-04-25T00:07:00.013+08:00

Today, Colin and I decided to follow Charlene to her college to help her set up her 'little' party for her seniors who had just finished with their final exam (yeay for them!). The purpose for this party is for the juniors a.k.a Charlene's Feb bash, to get some scoops on their upcoming exam in August. Of course, it is also to enjoy and get to know some new people heh..Anyways, we got there just in time. She thought she was running, sorta late, but nah, got there right on time - on the dot. Charlene was the one driving today, and omg...the weather was so bloody hot, I don't even know how on earth we survived on this heat! Gosh..lol.

Charlene asked me a week ago to make a bouquet of roses(out of tissue papers) for the party. Which I did :) . A lot people seem to be really amazed about it, calling it my master piece and all haha. Nonsense people. Charlene's friends are awesome. Though they're old, they're really cool people to hang with :) . I had a blast just by looking at them setting the place up. It was so amazing the way they did it. haha. You wouldn't even believe if you weren't there. Charlene and her friends manage to turn a normal cafeteria, to a very high class buffet meal! It's just really amazing. haha. What's funnier is that everything they bought for the decoration are all from their very own homes. They even brought lights! haha. Amazing. They really put so much effort on it that it impresses me so, so much! haha. They manage to turn to whole place into a palace in just an hour's time. haha. Crazy.

Aside from the brilliant party planning, while Charlene was doing her stuff - helping her friends out with the decoratings, Colin, Charlene's boyfriend, talked to me to kill the time, and also try to get to know each other (I guess...). He, as usual, is nice. lol. But from what I've seen today, he is more than just that. lol. He is way in love with my bestfriend. lol. So in love that it kills to not see her. Gosh..lol. He told me stuff like he has not met a person like Charlene before, that she is so mature for her age. He even said she has an amazing character for the course she is doing! Hell cool eh? (I guess that's how we dig stuff out eh, Charlene? heh..) Moving on, Colin is a very nice guy. Very much gentlemen-like too. I like him. I am glad they have found each other. heh..

I'm happy for them, I really do. She deserves nothing but the best and this, this is the best. Though from time to time she need some reminding, but it's fine just as long as she has me to knock her senses back into place lol. Oh wells. lol. I'm gonna miss my friend though; but hey, Colin is a guy worth giving up for (wow..i don't believe i just said that..). I guess it still kills to know she's with someone and that I know she will not have as much time for me, but hey, I can't have her for the rest of my life now can I? lol. She has got a life to live and I should be the one pointing the way instead the person blocking it. By the way, I'm not saying all this out of depression. haha. I mean every word. lol. I know she isn't going anywhere and I know her arms are still open for me, but I know it won't be the same as time goes on. lol. I just do. At this pace especially. lol. There isn't much I can do but to embrace it ;')

Anyways, I think it's getting late. I should sleep now. Heading down south tomorrow to melacca! I can't wait. There will be pictures loaded soon. hehe..

Aite. I'm outta here. Goodnight folks.

p.s : all the best to Charlene and Colin for their relationship.

Boredom! haha

2009-04-23T17:07:00.009+08:00

Yes, we are all bored. haha. It is semester break after all and semester breaks are normally BORING! haha. So what's the deal is that (haha) Kimberly and I, broke a record of the fastest time to get bored. haha. A whooping 5 seconds, mind you. haha. To answer your question, yes we are that bored, and yes we are crazy bunch of people with nothing to do. haha. heh..But seriously, there should be a record for it or something wei. haha. In fact, we were sooooo bored, we tried to play MSN games (which did not load and had pissed both of us off)! bleagh. haha. So yea, the the battle against boredom....continues haha :P

So Von asked me a really random question that day and it is if I were to be an animal, what would I want to be. I answered her, wolf. I have a thing for wolves. They're ... just so amazing haha. Wolves are aggressive when they want to. Only when they feel threatened. I also love their aggressiveness! oooo..

ooo..isn't it just amazing how they look when they want to eat cho face up? haha! :P It is just really amazing at how the wolves travels in packs. The 'leader' of the pack especially. I really admire the leader of the pack. He is the one protecting his pack and looking out for the whole clan. It's just amazing at how they know how to do that. I love wolves!! <3~

They even look great when they howl! heh...

Wolves : aggressive when needed, loners, protective

So, I asked Charlene the same question the very next day, and well she wants to be a

Horse!

haha. Very loyal and free-spirited creature. But yeah, it is very much like her to be a horse. haha. Loyal, free-sprited, cannot be disturbed if it doesn't want to be disturbed. haha. heh..Guess she doesn't want to be a pig after all. haha.

"oink, hey! Even pigs can paint okay, oink"

I also told Charlene that I chose to be a wolf because I love their protective nature and stuff and she disagree with me almost straight away. haha. Wondering why she disagreed, I asked her what she thinks I am. It took a while for her to think though. haha. And guess what she said??!

A panda haha.

A Panda?? Lazy creatures..haha. :P Which is kinda true as well. hahaha. :P Pandas love, and I means loves to sleep haha. And so do I. They are lazy, protective, kind and slow. haha. And they REALLY loves to sleep. They can sleep anywhere and everywhere at anytime (heh..ring any bells?..) haha :P

Yeap anywhere...

and EVERYWHERE! haha.

haha!

I guess even pandas get bored easily. hahaha. I guess I am very much like a panda huh? hahhaha. Oh wells. haha. It's good I guess. haha.

Anyways, I'm outta here. Goodnights all.

It Has Ended!

2009-04-15T02:48:00.004+08:00

IT'S HOLIDAY BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Yeah, the end of my third semester has started yesterday after my Psych paper. Psych was reasonably good as usual, hopefully it is enough to pass =] . Anyways, for the next two to three weeks, I'm gonna do some catching up as well as some travelling! My friends and I had so much planned already for the holidays. Besides that, Charlene is planning to train me during this next 2 weeks. haha. >.<''. Whereas for myself, I am planning to swim everyday at my cousin's apartment. Gonna do some self-training. It's been ages since I've swan omgosh. Properly anyways. Sure pancit d. >.<. Swimming relaxes me and it's the best form of sport I've ever found (i don't have to sweat). haha. Swimming actually, burns 2times more than running or any other form of sport does. This is actually proven haha. What they said was that because swimming requires both our arms and legs as well as our body movement, so we tend to burn 2times more than any other sport does. I used to swim a lot back in high school. Explains why I was so blardy tiny back then. haha. I only gained weight reaching end of high school, when SPM was closing by. Besides that, it was also 'coz of all the dramas that was floating around that caused my eating disorder =P.

Motivation is the most important thing to stay healthy. I know why I am like this now was 'coz I got a lot discourage about my sudden weight loss back in high school - my mom wanting more. Geez..I know I am also to blame for eating a lot, but it doesn't hurt to say something nice about it rather than to shoot it down and say that it's not enough >.< .... lol. I don't give a damn about my mom wanting me to loose weight anymore. She is never satisfied about my weight loss, so why bother for her. haha. I am doing it for me now, and it feels 10times better than having her notice it. haha. My friends notice more than she does. haha. Like I said, she is never satisfied with my weight loss. bleagh. So people, please motivate your friends or/and family please. Don't shoot them down, or they will choose to rebel. Especially adoloscences.

haha. I notice I've been talking a lot about myself lately. I really don't know why though. Perhaps the selfishness is coming out? haha. I've never really think for myself until my friends constantly plant that thought into my mind. haha. I guess I have changed a lot from high school. lol. It's weird when you think about it, really. haha.

Oh wells..I'm outta here. Hopefully this will be one hell of a holiday!

toodles!

Lanehoz wants to walk away

Hakuna Matata =]

2009-04-14T17:05:00.003+08:00

After a long, depressing and emotionally tiring 3 months of my third semester, it is finally come to an end. I felt a huge relief in my heart after my Psychology exam yesterday. I couldn't be happier for the end of it all. But wait, it doesn't just end there. After my one hour trip to KLCC with Charlene (haha), I got home just to find my Psychology scores for my 60% from the term are out! I also checked my IMs that were left for me haha. One of my IMs were my group members being all thrilled about our PDP presentation marks. Being all excited while reading their IMs, I quickly scrolled to see how much it was and guess what?? A whooping 14.75% out 20% baby! One of the second highest groups in the whole entire list! I was jumping when I saw that. haha. I really did not expect it. Great job team! I'm proud of all of you. =]

This day couldn't be any better.

I found out that my Psychology is only 9.85% away from passing the paper! I was so happy. My gosh. haha

Guess me thinking that I lead the team slobbishly isn't true. haha. Great to know that we've done a great job. This is great! haha.

ooh..I've been addicted to Rafiki's (the baboon from Lion King) quote;
"santi sana, squashed bananas, ooooo oooo, ooo ooooo"

haha. hakuna matata people. May your exams goes well. =]

All the best!

toodles.

Lanehoz is soring and is soring high!

Tears of An Angel

2009-04-09T23:38:00.004+08:00

currently listening to: Lovers's Tears by Olivia

I love the song I'm listening to. It's so...heartbreaking yet uplifting. haha. She's a great Asian singer. Olivia's from Japan who is making covers of mixes of English, Japanese as well as to Chinese songs. Her covers are very awesomely done. Very well done. Love it so much.

Anyways, finals is a few days away and haha I have yet to really study. lol. Oh wells..lol. Don't feel like it..lol.

Oh wells...life. haha.

LaneHoz wants to cry..
but she couldn't.

Where Has it Gone?

2009-04-08T20:47:00.004+08:00

I can't bare to know, nor can I bare to see you go.
damn it
and
damn it all..

Thoughts swims in my head as I let myself sink into the sea of depression. Perhaps me running is a good idea for now for it is just way too much to bare with the pain I am experiencing. I'm so sick of crying, I'm so sick of dying. I'm so sick of trying and I'm so sick of lying..Wearing but of nothing, a mask on my face, just so I can get through the day without having to spread the gloom I have lingering on me. I can't bare the fact and the truth that one day will happen, that I sometimes just know, I hate it.

Even though there isn't a certain answer to it, but I know it will one day happen. Hopefully by then I am ready. To think about it, pains me so much..lol. So..yeah..bare with me..

LaneHoz wants to runaway..

That Christmas I've Longed

2009-04-08T02:48:00.005+08:00

currently listening to : we are the reason - david meece

I miss that Christmas where I first felt so alive.
I miss that Christmas where I felt a genuine joy.
I miss that Christmas where I felt loved.
I miss that Christmas where I felt it all.
I miss that Christmas . . .

That Christmas where I was first brought to known what the true meaning of Christmas is. Never have I felt so alive nor have I felt so at home, oh that Christmas. Being with the bunch people which never did cared about personality but more of what's inside, the bunch whom I can laugh and cry to whenever and wherever they are, the bunch I love oh, so much.

That Christmas that opened my eyes to what people are and to what friends are. Naive as I can be back when then, these people never did make a fuss about it neither do they try to contradict on my beliefs. Oh yes, that Christmas, my oh my how I miss it so dearly. Giving and sharing were what they all did and sharing would be with family as well as to friends. Oh, that Christmas.

Never have I got that Christmas back the years after. Year and years passed by, and never did I come close to that feeling I felt back at that Christmas. It saddens me. Christmas now, is very blue and lonely, very much like a gloomy, dark room. My perception on Christmas changed after a while and never did I got back that Christmas I have longed for.

Oh yes, that Christmas. How I miss it so much.

Perhaps now, Christmas is going to be just another celebration we do. Just like every other festive season we have. Perhaps one day, I will get back that Christmas I once felt back. It feels really close to me, but yet still so far. It will be here one day, but for now, I will just hold the memories and feelings of that Christmas close at heart, hoping it will come back to me one day.

That Christmas..

LaneHoz misses that Christmas so much
She knows she is able to feel it again
just, it has not come yet
but it will

Not Superman, Human

2009-04-07T16:42:00.003+08:00

I am not a superman neither am I a hero. I feel, I think, I have needs. Though at times, I really wish I don't feel at all. Emotions is but another boundaries that stops us to do what we are capable of doing. Sometimes, it is way too much to handle. We are all broken and we should all admit it. It is better to admit than to deny. We have but of so much we can do and can give, so why not take a break one day to forget it all? Why not?

Yea, I hell wished I can be superman. That I can save the world and cool stuff like that. haha. But I know I can't (ooo unless it's the whole adrenaline thing! that's freaky). Sometimes, hurt is way too much to bare that we faint, we lose control. Everyone knows that pretty damn well, as well as myself. We need help, in fact, we ALL need help. haha. But you and I and everyone knows that sometimes, it is better to handle some stuff alone before we go to another. I guess we either have issues or we just think well, we are capable. I for one, knows I am capable.

I won't cry unless it's too much to handle. I won't tell unless it's too much to bare. I won't call unless I know it's safe. I know I won't. I am way too proud to admit I am weak (now that's a weird thing to be proud of). (Not to blow my own horn but...) I know I am a very much humble and down-to-earth person, but when comes to myself, I will not expose until I feel it is right. Sometimes we just need time I guess. But time says nothing, time saves nothing. I have a huge ego when it comes to my vulnerability. haha. I am an easy person to get to know but a very hard person to open up. I have a shell. haha. A huge, tough one. haha.

Sometimes, we just got to do some things alone. We do. It's like a thing we humans have. We think we are able to handle it, we think we are able to do so many things but we just cannot. Ahh wells..Guess I will stick to being a human for now :)

Alrites. I'm done.

-over and out-

Lanehoz wants to sore high up

The Mind Speaks

2009-04-07T15:07:00.015+08:00

THIS CONTAINS CONTROVERSIAL ISSUES

-- if you want to comment about it, be my guest, just don't go completely against my believe --
-- i respect your point of view so try to respect mine :) --

please and thank you!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Life and death. A question we constantly ponder about. There is no real answer to whether there is a heaven and a hell, but one thing's for sure, I believe in reincarnation (haha. score 1 for being a Buddhist. haha).

Reincarnation; not something a lot believe in. People who's in Buddhism, believe highly in reincarnation. This is because your time line of being "punished" isn't done yet. Reason to why most people (or spirits/souls) find reincarnation suffering, because it is normally put in situation where we are being reincarnated in a chain sort of thing. We, Chinese (lol), do not get reincarnated but of only once in our lives, it comes in a chain of years. Some can go up to 400 years of being reincarnated (scary thought huh?) I for one, have a feeling that my time isn't done yet (call it gut feeling if you want haha). But I also highly believe if I could do some thing to help myself redeem my years of incarnating, I will be completely swept off from hell and sent straight to heaven (o.o).

I believe that I am here for a reason and not to just live in this pitiful world where poverty still strikes and where people still have children as slaves and prostitude. I believe I am here to help that certain someone (which I think I have found) to change this world to become a better place to be. I believe I am here to help. I am not here to just sit and wait for my death and let myself being sentenced to another life of reincarnating, no. Even so, I know I am here this lifetime to help out someone of transceding personality to get his/her job done. I know I am here for some reason and not just to live, but to go MAD (heh..Make A Difference).

Perhaps I am still young to do such things, but I know for sure, one day, we will make this world a better place. Make a place where poverty is over and done, where children can come out to live happily without fearing those who they are working for, and where children can come out and play without fearing a bomb having to fall on their very heads and homes (my gosh). Children should have the rights to speak up, that is where we come in. We are all soon-to-be young adults and we are the ones who can make a change to this inhumane world where adult abuses their power for money. Geez..Nonsensical motha f-ers.

War. Another stupid thing that I don't believe still happening in this time and world frame. We are in the 21st century people, my gosh, wake up already. You politicians want to fight about something, bring it to the big house and not to those innocent beings who just want to live. Give them a chance to live, even in poverty, even in the most poorest way of living, they still just WANT to live. Poor things. War won't settle anything (and to think politician can think). Fight fire with fire, and you will get more fire from the ones you've just just set, even by using a single match stick. (sigh) poor innocent people. They are suffering for God damn no reason just because one country hates another. Gosh.

Anyways, this is just my point-of-view. It was not meant to point fingers. haha. I am still very much young. Honestly I'm only 18 turning 19 in a month's time. haha. It's just that sometimes, these nonsense just bugs me because it is all unnecessary. haha. Nonsense. Alrites then, I'm out of here. Have fun everyone ;)

LaneHoz wants to change the world
*chuckles*

Cannonball

2009-04-06T22:01:00.006+08:00

listening to : what can I say - brandi carlile

"What can I say, the thought cannot escape from me. I will sing you a song if you could just promise you will stay"

blek..lol. Finals are coming real soon and I, for one, are not ready for it just yet. haha. Psychology lesson finally ended today and man, oh man am I gonna miss it. It's awesome. haha. Well, for some of you may know, I am going to linger along HMC for another 2 semesters because of subjects I have yet completed. This semester is supposedly my last semester, but, ahh wells. haha. Looking forward :). Anyways, haha, I have so much more further to go and hopefully, HOPEFULLY I can go through it within this year. haha. That just mean I have to crack my head to the frying pan once more. haha.

Well, as you of you may know, I've been real down lately 'coz of so many reasons I cannot and will not state here. haha. Sometimes things and life just gets the best of you and you just want to be free from all of these, but of course, haha, we can't. We never can. We can only escape but a few minute, maybe hours, but it will come back around to haunt us all over again. I know it and I know it way too well. haha. So reminders of that, are not necessary.

My thousand and million apologies to Rachel Yao for trying to reach out to me but couldn't lol. I know I have issues, I know I have problems, but sometimes, I just needa forget that I do..lol. I am not running, it is just my way of denying at times. haha. As you and I both know, our ego defense machanism is very much required at times like these. haha. I shall not even go in depth about this. haha. Maybe in the near future, I will open up, but I won't for the time being because I have issues of my own about opening up. lol. Even a real close friend of mine took her 8months of knowing me before I completely tell her my problems..so yea..it takes me time to get settled. Give me some time.

Things hsan't been going smooth sailing for me these few months. I guess it will get better soon. haha. I'm counting on it too :). lol. And..haha. I'm oh so excited bout my upcoming birthday in May. I don't expect anything too big or even too grand, but of just simple gestures will be more than enough :) . lol. That's kinda what I say every year haha. Oh well..Guess I just don't expect much. haha.

pssssssstt! ~~i still want a call bell and a chalk board + coloured chalks!~~ heh..

haha. shh. No one knows that :P

I wonder what my parents are going to give me for my birthday..Possible one tiny, teennyyy, piuuunie cake. haha. And some cash O.O CHA-CHINGGGGG $$ :D.

haha. It's still quite far away. Like bout a month from now? Today's the 6th..hm..make it 29 days and counting! haha. College should start already by then. haha. I'm not too sure but I think it is. haha. I hope not tho. haha. LAZY LA! haha. Anyways..I'm done here. Over and out.

-LaneHoz : I wanna sore like how eagles sore and live like how wolves lives-

Future Awaits

2009-03-31T00:16:00.003+08:00

I've finally come to an understanding where letting go is better than holding it in and waiting for it to happen. Sometimes, it's best to let the person know how you really feel. lol. Though I know it's hard, but it is better that we do. It's healthy. lol.

I've got so many things in mind right now that I've lost count. Too many in fact. lol. Perhaps one day things will fall into place and I will be able to breathe once again without having to suffocate or gasp for air. I will one day rise beyond this sea of fire and rage, and be a human again.

one day..

The Whispering Angel Speaks

2009-03-27T21:19:00.004+08:00

I am still scared of what your decision may be and I'm afraid if you ever leave. Though deep in me says, "please stay", but I know you got to set your wings on its flight one day. No matter how close is that future from me, you will forever be that person I see. I freeze when I hear about it, I tear when I think about it, but if time and life allows me, I will be where you are; but till then please sore high and be free. I'll probably be a wreck if you'll ever decide to go, but that won't bring me down low. I can only hope that I will be okay and I can only hope that I won't cry, but until then, I will wear a play mask on and lie. Perhaps this is fated, perhaps this is true, perhaps one day we will both see other on the skies so blue. Stars at night doesn't exist here (haha, too much light pollution) so I will just remember from the glimpse of my tear. Until then though, I will cherish these tiny moments with you and I will remember you for you deserve more than just being called a friend. Until then... ;']

Broken Vow

2009-03-19T22:40:00.002+08:00

As scared as I am, as much as I don't want to, and as much as I fear for it, I just have to..I may suffer, but..I'll survive. I know it'll happen one day or another, I know. And this is one of things I just wish I don't know about. Just as this is my gift, it is also a curse. Sometimes I wish I didn't know. Truth hurts, reality bites, and painting this dull world is the hardest work ever..lol. I just wish I could do something about it..something..lol.

I am dreading the day each day ever since I've first heard about it. I know I won't be able to take it..Oh, how I know so well..But I got to. lol. This hurts. lol. It won't escape my mind, but lol, I guess I got to face it one way or another. I don't know how I'm gonna go through my everydays if it does happen though. lol. I'll find a way. I hope. lol. I'll be broken and I'll be having a tough depression session, but I'll live. I hope. lol. I can only imagine. lol.

I guess that's all I want to say..Hopefully in the future, I'll do just fine.

tata..

Just Another Insomnia

2009-03-19T02:55:00.008+08:00

Have you ever thought of dropping dead? Just..drop, dead? Well, I have. Death..Who knows who and what awaits us when we're dead. I wish I could find out, but I guess I just cannot. We live but only one life and one lifetime, we might as well do the best we can to feel good, happy and be nice all the time. As easy as that may just sound, but it is harder than most of us think it is. It is sooo hard that it makes Elbert Einstein's theory easy. I mean come on...E=mc²? Clearly EQ beats the crap out of IQ.

Emotional Intelligence. This is my topic for my PDP (Peer Development Program) presentation. It is next Thursday and I am nervous. Emotional Intelligence also known as EI for short is often measured as an Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ). Emotional Intelligence is basically about how good one can manage their emotions. A full understanding of our emotion always remain a mystery, but managing it, knowing how to access it well, is another. There are only very few we can do about our emotion, but managing it and controlling it, we can. It would be hard, but it would be fine later on.

Developing our Emotional Intelligence has a lot ways and I am way too lazy to explain it here. What I am trying to emphasize is, our emotions works differently for different age group. As a adolescent, I would know that EQ at my stage is either far down the drain or the other way around. That is according to me at least lol. It also depends on how emphatatic one is. Oh wells..lol. Anyways, our emotions, is a whole, whole, WHOLE bunch of crap. Especially when hormons decides to set its foot in. It will turn everything very much ~~disasterous~~ interesting.

I think the reason why I am blogging so much today is because I needed to talk. God damn it..I have no one I can talk to without feeling annoyed or stupid when striking a ~~depressing~~ conversation. I could talk to a friend of mine, but I assume she would be either too tired to or too occupied with her own stuff. As much as I want to, I chose not to. Plus, I don't even know what's wrong with me to begin with. So that adds up to me not wanting to talk to her about my non-existing reason for depression. Perhaps, I just need to talk..about anything at all. I don't know la..I'm sick of figuring out what's wrong..It's pissing me off. Plus, I bet no one reads this anyway. I am non-existing to a lot of people. lol. Shadow. I'm a shadow.

I am all dark, and the only time you can see me is when there is a glimpse of light in the huge cloud of darkness. Just like those stupid ray of light, shadows are just as hard to find. I'm invisible to the eyes of lots and as well as visible to the eyes of nobodies. I am white and I am black. I am but of light that comes out from the cloud of darkness. Who am I to you? No one. To some of you I may mean the world, but to most of you, I am just but of another collection in your facebook and MSN list. Some of you who I think sees me, chose not see me over another side that they think is green. And no I'm not talking about you if you know who you are and if you are reading this. I am sick and tired of being invisible, of being a shadow. I'm sick of putting myself in this horrible state, trying to figure out what's wrong with me just so I can strike a proper consult session. I'm sick..as well as to tired..I want a friend. I want my friends.

There's just way too much I need to say, too much, but can I say it out? lol. I don't even know where to start. I think I'm emotionally scarred. lol. Just when people think being in love is the most painful hurt ever felt, wait till you feel a pain that's been in you for ages..WITHOUT REASON too. It's really ~~fucked~~ fun! I just don't understand..Yea, I'm pretty sure I'm emotionally scarred. lol. Being told once that my depression for no reason is just for mere attention hurts, having no one around that can listen hurts, being told that you're freaking fat without even noticing a major weight loss due to starvation hurts, being told that you're worthless and dumb hurts, being told that you are this, you are that, you must this, you must that annoys the crap out of me!! LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg...I am definitely scarred.

A Twist In My Story

2009-03-18T22:47:00.004+08:00

Blogging seems lifeless now. I somehow is experiencing heartbreak at the moment. It's weird. There is so much I want to voice out, so much I want to say, but....I don't know how to start and I don't know how to say it. Believe it or not, I am actually a very depressed person.

A story ~~of my life..~~

People in college..They think I'm all happy, happy and that I'm bubbly and friendly. What they don't know is that whenever I get home or even sometimes on the way home, in my car, I'll get into my depressed state. I'll get really depressed till the point that I don't know what's causing it. I have no idea why. I admit, I am lonely, but I doubt this is solely on loneliness. I don't want to be in a relationship nor do I want to find anyone. It's all so weird. I just don't know what I'm feeling. It's all so torn.

Anyways back to topic. People in college see me as a different person all over. I don't know how and why I do it, but I just do. It sucks so bad. lol. I guess lately they have been seeing this side of me quite often. I am somehow showing more and more each day. Especially lately. My depression have been ongoing for the past 3 weeks now, and I have no idea what to do with it. I really want to cry, but my tear drops seems to be too freaking proud to. The only way I know how to get it down is by...~~drinking~~.

It's so bad, all so bad that I don't know how to stop it. My gosh...I want to talk, but I don't know what to talk about because I don't know what's wrong. And I certainly don't want to claim that I'm depressed if I have no reason..Especially since I got called attention seeker for it...aih..There goes my small, broken heart..lol. You wouldn't think someone would call you that for a depression of no reason..Perhaps, back then, it was attention, but it was all so blur, it was all so....depressing. I just have no idea how long I can deal with this.....

God..I want to cry..Is there any way, ANY WAY at all, that you can make me cry?...aih..I have no intention of posting this post, but I needed to say something real badly..I guess by blogging, it will somehow helps. I just hope this depression goes away as quick as possible. lol. Can't take it..And another thing about me is that I can't stand talking about myself..I don't like to talk about myself unless I know why..But I just don't!!!!!...aih.

And to think...you are not alone in this..But in actual fact, actual reality..you are alone..whether you or I like about it. I am forever alone if you think about it. I never did manage to talk about how I feel properly..Even if I did, it won't last a mili second. Since I hate talking about myself and I don't know what's wrong most of the time..lol. When I know what's wrong, I'll talk about it, yea..I sure will do...but like I said before..The conversation will never stay for long..though I want it to..lol. I don't know how..It just happened. Oh wells...Guess I really hate talking about myself. lol.

I have an excelent listening skills; excellent I tell you! But..how come..I can never manage to listen to myself?..I don't know...I really don't..

I wish I could find an answer to this..At least before my birthday, which is coming up in about two months time..Or less..Don't know. Did not count. aih..

My phone is so quiet lately that it scares and pisses me off..aih..It's too damn...quiet. No messages, no phone calls, no miss calls..nothing. Like wth?..I bet if I off my off for a day, it won't make a difference at all..I think I'll do that tomorrow. lol. The only miss call I'll get is from my mom. AHHAHAHAHA!! WHICH IS DAMN SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahhaha! omg. this is hilarious. She is probably suffering from anxiety disorder.

aih..screw this..I'm out of here..

what happened?...

2009-03-18T20:29:00.006+08:00

There is just one thing in life that I have yet accomplish and that is loving the world. Okay, perhaps I do. I love everyone for who they are, for their odd and strange behaviours, for their insides, but..I have a hard time showing people that I love them. I am not an easy person to give hugs and for some freaky reason, I realise that. I guess I just adore hugs that I don't like giving them for no reason. But omg...I miss being hugged. I just got one from PhuiMun (a.k.a birdy haha) yesterday..And it felt so..so...so...warm..gosh. lol. I haven't spoken to her in ages! And yesterday when I had to go to college early, I finally saw her and manage to catch up..abit...lol. That is until she had to go somewhere and never came back. lol. She claimed she was gonna though. lol. (i think she went paktoh..lol dont remember..lol)

Anyways..yea..I miss hugs..The ones that means something at least. Not just mere hug, but a hug that is genuine. lol. Oh well...I won't be getting any of that any time soon. lol. A close friend of mine used to able to give me that warm, genuine hug though..lol. I don't know where'd it go..lol. Oh wells..lol.

Guess I'm not out my depression just yet. lol. Like Rachel once said (haha quoting her :P)

"time does not heal, neither will our scars. even if we do take action to do something about it, it will still be deep in us"

lol. I love quoting that woman :P. And gosh..I have not seen her for a while now. haha. Having one class has ALOT of disadvantages. lol.

awh well..let's just hope I will heal myself in time lol..aite..i'm outta here.

Again Today - Brandi Carlile
Broken sticks and broken stones
Will turn to dust just like our bones
It's words that hurt the most now isn't it
Are you sad inside, are you home alone
If I could just pick up the phone
Maybe you could see a better day
And you won't waste away
Under my watchful eye
Because I'm your hero and you're my weakness

Who's gonna break my fall
When the spinning starts
The colors bleed together and fade
Was it ever there at all
Or have I lost my way
The path of least resistance
Is catching up with me again today

I'm broken down, not good enough
The broken promises add up
To twice their weight in tears which I have caused

I'm afraid to sink, I'm afraid to swim
I'm sad to say I miss my friends
I know that I'm supposed to step away
But they need me to stay and keep a watchful eye
On all my heroes and all their demons

But who's gonna break my fall
When the spinning starts
The colors bleed together and fade
Was it ever there at all
Or have I lost my way
The path of least resistance
Is catching up with me again
Not today
Not today

Was it ever there at all
And have I lost my way
The path of least resistance
Is catching up with me again today

Broken sticks and broken stones
Will turn to dust just like our bones again today
I'm broken down
Not good enough
The broken promises add up again today

Was it ever there at all
And have I lost my way
The path of least resistance
Is catching up with me again today
Again today

new look

2009-02-23T20:07:00.002+08:00

finally got to edit the damn blog. omg. it took me a whole 6 hours of it. >.<

enjoy the new look ;)

Who Knew?

2009-02-18T01:27:00.002+08:00

Wow. I never knew. I just...never knew. I thought my life has no problem that even I, have to make up some story to myself feel in place. I just realised that, I, am not the problem in my life, the people whom I hold close to heart, are. Who knew, who knew..

Knowing that I have a friend who fell so hard in love for someone whom she thought was the one, but was eventually shot down by him, is just very much devastating.

Knowing that I have a friend who thinks he is doing what he wants, but will soon to discover the reasons behind it; that is for someone whom he had a never-ending attraction to.

Knowing that I have a friend that can never make up a choice whether to continue or not to continue is very, very sad.

Knowing that I have a friend that can never seem to feel enough for whatever he does is very damaging.

Knowing in general..is very devastated, sad and damaging.

Sometimes I just wish I don't know anything..Oh, how I wish..

Leadership Camp

2009-02-11T13:13:00.003+08:00

"What is important is that we all have teamwork, we all have the determination to keep marching forward"

Leadership camp had did me good, and I loved it so much! It surely have taught me how to be a more stronger person and keep on looking forward. Somehow, this camp is what I need to reassure myself that I am capable of doing more than I think I can. I used to believe in that, but of course, we all tend to forget what we are here for. We all tend to forget. lol. Sad to say, but it is just reality biting us from the behind. Oh wells, everything happens for a reason. All I can say is that, HUC, HMC, leadership camp, was worth it. Every bruise, every ache; it was all worth it. Great experience, great time.

JUMP SHOT! ;D

2009-02-04T22:54:00.002+08:00

She moved very slowly, almost like creeping along the walls of that creepy looking home. She took a knife and cut whatever that was in her way, moving herself closer to the door. Scared, she took a big gulp and tried to forget about it. 'Ding dong' , she pressed the bell that was at the side of the door. The door opened itself, also with a slight creaking sound added to it. She was so frightened, she could not stop shivering. Then...

ahh...i'm too tired to think. will continue soon.

The Wind Still Blows

2009-01-24T17:43:00.005+08:00

Yeah, life. Life is a pain in the arse, life is a pain for everyone; but life is also a greatest thing ever made in the history of mankind..

Life. We are certain that our life will not change, that it is meant to be. Bullshit! Life changes all the time, and life is not there to stay. It is a one time thing, and we gotta live every moment, every minute, every seconds of it! ..ahh life. It sucks, but it is beautiful that way.

Though, we can't help but to feel down and sad at some points of our lives. We try, we take action, we suppress (which to some will lead to repression). These defense mechanism are necessary to keep us sane as well as to alive. Everyone needs time, and time is precious. Some things just can't be forced into doing..aih..life.

Even though, life throws us these nonsense all the time, we also live the brighter side of things. We can see the brightside, just sometimes, we choose not to. It's very normal. Life is bright when we want it, life is dull when we want it. It is all up to us at how we want to look at it (which again just hit me!) It's not what we do or what people did that make our life all dark and twisted, it is how we look at things that made it all dark and twisted. Have you ever thought of that?

Environmental influences. It play a huge role in our life. It determines what and who we are. We are for certain that life is a thing where have to live, that there is no second chance, but have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, there is a second chance to life?

On the contrary, life is one time thing, but to those who had fell rock bottom and manage to rise back up, are they considered to be given a second chance in life? Those who had emotional breakdowns that broke their hearts into a million pieces, are they worthy to have second chance at life?

"We are who we are" as one once said. If you think you are worthy, then you are. If you think can rise up from rock bottom, you can. Believe and you will get there. But..you just have to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for all the things you have made, forgive yourself, and you will be free. So free that everyone can see a light shining on you.

Life. It is a true beauty. Just like a rose amongst the thorns.

--- over and out.

Reflective Writing

2009-01-22T22:04:00.002+08:00

So I just realised last night at approximately 12am that my psychology reflective writing hasn't been done with the due date is today. I got up real early this morning to finish it (which I nearly overslept coz I ignored my alarm)

Reflective writing does wonders I tell you. The term "self-observation" was used in this very assignment. Of course, I was being as honest as I can about my locus-of-control. What I realised was that I fell hard, and that lead me to look at a brighter side of life. Also thanks to a certain someone as well.

It was sure a touchy moment for me. It was also kinda hard to admit that I was once a person with external locus-of-control, where I think my life was controlled by things like fate and consequences. Thank goodness I got out of it.

Anyways, I'm out of here.

wuhhhhhh-huuuuuuuuuu!

2009-01-20T20:33:00.002+08:00

Wuhhhhhh-huuuuuuuuu! LOL. I've got a date to Valentine's party at college! LOLL! hahaha. Nah ah..I'm just goin' there with a friend of mine (just to get cheaper price tics.. :P ) This will be my first HELP event that I will be attending (besides Bella Noche). It is gonna be one heck of a night! Can't wait! wuhhhhhh! haha.

So..I nearly slept in Psych class today. o.o it was soooooo boring. That topic anyways. haha :). I have yet to finish my reflective writing, and the deadline is coming. haha. But I guess I'll do it tomorrow. heh.

I feel like coffee. ..(maybe I should ask Charlene for coffee) Gosh. I want coffee bean haha. :P AMPANG!! LOL.

Gosh...I don't know what to blog already. I'm goin' off. Over and out.

yeah..

2009-01-12T12:14:00.002+08:00

Even the most sinful being can make something right. But who's to know that the once pure-hearted beings can divert themselves into doing something they swore not to not too long ago?..

Even the most innocent beings can decide to do something horrible. I won't consider it as a sin, but more of a broken promise. A promise made to no one else but me. Oh..Guilt indeed filled my heart. Who knew? Who does..

This confusion, this questioning; it has got to stop. Though, I don't know what I'm going to do is reasonably fair or good, but I hope this will soon stop.

"damn you, hormones.."

Thoughts In The Mind

2009-01-11T23:55:00.004+08:00

I don't know who you are,
and I don't know why you're here.
But I can feel you whenever you're far,
and I can't breathe whenever you are near.

You are taking me away day by day,
and I don't know how to react.
Can you please stop being that ray,
that keeps showing the real facts.

It's getting worst..

Nothing More Than Just An Update

2009-01-09T23:23:00.002+08:00

"I've got troubled thoughts and a self-esteem to match; what a catch, what a catch"

The very lines from the songs of 'What A Catch, Donnie' by Fall Out Boy.

Well, things has been doing quite fine lately. Had my first week of college and boy, oh boy, do I love it! Psychology class was very much fun as well as to Critical Thinking Skills. I know I studied Critical Thinking Skills before, but somehow, I find Miss Chris' class is very fun to be in. ^^ However, things can never be that fun and games all the time, I got to step up and play my cards right this time around. Can't afford to fail another time. I am aiming, and aiming real high for my two subjects this semester. Hopefully I will do well.

Anyways, I'm outta here. Over and out.

Lyrics of a song

2008-12-21T00:00:00.002+08:00

Whenever You Remember - Carrie Underwood

When you look back on times we had
I hope you smile
And know that through the good and through the bad
I was on your side when nobody could hold us down
We claimed the brightest star
And we, we came so far
And no they won't forget

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believed that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

When you think back on all we've done
I hope you're proud
When you look back and see how far we've come
It was our time to shine
And nobody could hold us down
They thought they'd see us fall
But we, we stood so tall
And no we won't forget

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believed that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

We claimed the brightest star
And we, we came so far
You know that we, we showed them all
And no they won't forget

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believed that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

fall for you

2008-12-16T00:23:00.004+08:00

currently listening to : fall for you by secondhand serenade

i have nothing to say..

all i want is just a peace of mind

and that is no where near me..

so far away from me..

i'm so lost, lost of direction

i don't know where to head towards,

i don't know who to listen to..

so for now, i will just hold my breath

and continue living..

Scratched Memory

2008-12-12T00:45:00.003+08:00

Have you ever feel so close, but yet so far away? As if like you're almost there, but there is just something holding you back at where you are; somewhat stuck. In this parallel world, we live a double life. As human as we all tend to be, we also tend to divert from what we are, leaving us to become the inner demons that makes us nothing but much more vulnerable than we already are. We are fragile beings who constantly strive for love, attention and most of all, passion. We grow out of our passion for things we love and change our interests to something less memorable because we fear the memory might haunt us in the near future. Oh, sweet, subtle, calming voice, why must you leave this very vulnerable heart? I feared the day, and the day had come its way. Been trying hard to stay real strong, been trying real hard to not think of it, but sooner or later, it'll come back and haunt my very memory - this last bit of my memory..

i'm still dreading the day,

but there's nothing i can say.

living with a mask on my face,

with hopes that will soon fade..

Just when...

2008-12-10T00:31:00.006+08:00

Just when you think you've escape from what you are actually thinking, it bounces right back and haunt you like there's no tomorrow..

We can never escape our thoughts. As much as we try to, as much as we want to, we just cannot. We, as humans, believe what we want to believe, and leave reality at the sidelines - slowly waiting its chance to slap our faces in public. It sucks if you put it that way, but it's true. I thought I could runaway from my very own thoughts, and guess what? It did not happen. Right now, I really wish I did not hear what I've heard. I have yet to digest that thought into my head, or refusing to let it happen, rather. I'm denying real hard that it will, or might happen, in this case. I know what's the outcome of thinking about this, and well, I don't like it one bit.

I just hope everything goes well in the future..

A Sudden Shiver

2008-12-05T01:09:00.004+08:00

Fate - What is Fate?
Is fate something imaginary? Is it something that determines our future? Or is it just a mere belief? Well, one thing's for sure, we can never escape fate.

Oh yes, how well we know it. Reality sure bites when you don't want them to be. Just when you thought that you could escape from fate, think again; it is bound to come back searching for you. It's kinda scary if you think of it. I'm sure you all have watched the show 'Final Destination', well, relate that to this. We just can't escape fate and whatever fate wants to put us through. Yeah, it is down right, annoying. Not to mention upsetting as well.

Yes, I have my reasons on why I said so, which will not be mention. But yeah, like I said, we cannot escape our fate. Fate is like a vicious circle, just like how life is to us. A circle. Kind to think of it, everything is a circle. See it at my point of view for a moment. Now, think out of the box and use everything you can as an example of circle, like a song! It goes in circle. Movies, roads, directions, words, sentences, and even thoughts. It all runs in a circle, and all for one reason - to send out messages.

Anyways, as I was saying, fate is something that no one can escape. It somehow determines our future (cursed damn fate). Some say that fate brings the people in our lives together, like how friends were to meet one another, but yet, others says that fate is nothing, and that fate is just another excuse used. Does this mean this 'fate' is imaginary? Oh, wouldn't we want to find out. Questions, questions and more questions.

Fate..How I wish I could punch it straight in the face. It has caused so many people so much depression. But of course, happiness as well.

"If fate and time persist, we shall meet again and then maybe start our little game"

pfft...fate.

over and out
LaneHoz

The Song of A Little Bird

2008-12-03T01:00:00.002+08:00

OMG! IT'S ALREADY THE END OF THE YEAR!! T.T

I don't believe it's the end of the year already. It seems like just yesterday the first day of the second sem just started, and everyone in English class was so awkward to talk to one another haha! ^^ But look at us now! We have gone way far and God knows what will happens next. aih..I'm gonna miss Mrs.Chua..She's my beloved Intermediate as well as my Advanced English lecturer. She was one heck of a lecturer! She thought me every small detail about essay writing! And guess what?! I scored them nicely! :D But awh..She's retiring after this semester :( We will all miss her dearly; I will miss her dearly. Actually, I already do...lol.

Anyways, this semester had so many things going on. Gossips, rumours, etc. uish...Terrible I tell you haha. College life has just begun when I went into second sem. It was horrible. All the colours, all the dramas, omgg! >.< Can't take it mann..LOL!

I manage to meet a lot of new people in this sem, and got close with a few old ones as well as distant away from some. haha. They're the bomb la I tell you. haha. One of the new peeps i met and is AWESOME-shit is kimberly and phui mun! LOL! I tell you man, they're crazzzeeeee! KERAZY! LOL! Besides that, there's Arinah, Vick, Bryan, Lok Ming, CY! and Chris!!! LOL! I love Chris la..He's such a joker! :D Awesome, AWESOME people! LOL!

And bout people I got close is none other than, haha, Rachel!! haha. Yao Rachellllll!! LOL! It was soooo fun to play her siblings and going to her place for dinner! haha. Awesome cooking btw. :D

haha. It was all great. I hope it will stay this great for the thrid sem. ;)

Anyways, it's already 2am, better get to bed. Toodles.

uhh..update.

2008-11-20T21:27:00.001+08:00

Okay. Time to come back to my blog. lol. So, what's been happening was nothing much. Though I have been losing what I should feel. lol. Weird, but yeah. I really don't know what to write man..guess that's it for now.

Layin' It Off

2008-11-10T02:50:00.002+08:00

I'm going to be gone for a while. Gone from the online world. I thought it's the time to set my mind back to its course so yeah..I'll be gone for a while.

I'm psyched about friday.

Death

2008-11-04T19:33:00.003+08:00

So yeah...I've been wondering what is it like to actually experience death. Is it like how everyone said it was - the whole "your life will flash right before your eyes..." thing? Or is it just a long, long sleep in pitch black darkness? Well, I for one cannot tell. I can't for sure say that I believe in God, I can't for sure give anyone an answer that there is such thing as Heaven and Hell, but one thing's for sure, death is certain, and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

Death. Recently, by that I meant last night (lol), I dreamt that I had a near death experience. What came right before my eyes was a quick flash back. It was not like the whole flash backs of your life thing, but more like a fast recap of the recent happenings. It's kinda like showing to yourself how you died. It was really absurd.

White was the only colour around me at that time, and those quick recaps, doesn't seem to have any motives of being there at all. It was going at the speed of lightning, and I barely saw anything. All I saw was the colour of people's skin, and the colour white and blue as if I was in a hospital. Even though I can't really see anything, I heard voices; voices from those who I love oh, so very much, and some fainted screams at the background. The surrounding of the recaps was very hectic, and I felt so tensed watching them.

After all those hectic moments, I was somehow awake from my death. Not long after, someone in white approached me and said.."you had a near death experience". I looked at him wanting to ask what happen and I woke up from my sleep. It was all so weird. I woke up feeling rather weirded out and somewhat crappy. lol..

oh wells. It was all just a dream. lol. Still rather weirded out though..alrights. I'm outta here.

Time For A Move!

2008-11-03T02:04:00.002+08:00

Not very long from now, I took a few minutes to browse through my older blogs. Not posts, but older blogs haha. (yes i have more than just one..) From what I've noticed, my English language have evolved throughout the years. haha. My English in my very first blog, which is the one in xanga, was T.E.R.R.I.B.L.E! Not to mention terrible with a capital 'T'. It was so bad that even you can't stand it. Seriously. I felt dumified after reading it. haha. It was really terrible..

Then, came along Friendster, a site where everyone was crazy over back in the days (i was too, if i may say so myself :) ). When Friendster was the hit back then, blogs were just starting its thing. So when blogs got really popular among the Internet world, Friendster decided to add that lil' application in. Oh, man was everyone psyched about it. heh..And of course, being the Internet addict that I am, I too created an account for the blog in Friendster. :)

(not to be braggy but...) When I read a few post in my Friendster blog, I find that my English there isn't all bad. It was quite good if you ask me. :) Then, it took me back to how I am in the present (which is now), I wondered to myself, how come my English had went down the drain? Goodness me...

I realised that it's a time for a move. I need to polish on my English language once again. It had been long abandoned, and now I will restart it again. No more fooling around. haha. I will try whatever it is to regain my former English knowledge.

heh. alrights. i'm done and outta here.

uncertainty.

2008-10-27T10:46:00.003+08:00

stuck in between both worlds, sleeping but yet awake, cautious but yet blur. time after time, choices were made. from here to there, from there to here. wishes were made, promises were broken. every direction leads the light away. standing in front of a signboard that says lost and broken, where should one actually go?

toodles.

i thought

2008-10-24T23:52:00.002+08:00

i thought i was your shelter,
i thought i was your truth.
i thought you would remember that i'll be there,
i guess i've expected too much from you.

i thought i was your wings,
i thought i was your saviour.
i guess i was lost in my dreams,
when you said i was the one you favour..

flash backs.

2008-10-22T23:21:00.003+08:00

I came across this really, really, REALLY old song I used to hear back in the days. And well, it kind of brought me back to when I was 15 years old, back when I am just starting my journey of self discovery. I remember everything just like it was yesterday... Sitting outside at the hallway, with the lights off and the computer on. Chatting online, using a cheap, big and colourless phone, and sulk myself to depression as everyone was away from home. Depended on my friends for love and care, and gave them everything I had in me to repay them for their deeds. Afraid, fearful, vulnerable, timid, and quiet was I back in the days. Crying myself to sleep, crying myself to everything there is. Alone and have no way of expressing myself because of a terrible trust issue.

ah...i miss the old days. i dont miss who i was, but i miss how things were..

loves.

the song.

2008-10-20T12:13:00.002+08:00

as the music played, she continued her dance to freedom. dancing and dancing, releasing every emotion she had in her. she let her mind drift as her body swing back and forth to the music. oh, how graceful she was. wearing white with nothing but just the shine of the moon shining down right at her, she followed the known steps and eventually, creating steps of her own. dancing round and round she went. she was the only one who was there. in her reality, everything is a fraud, but her fantasy is a world filled with life. she danced to the moonlight, with her eyes closed shut. her movement was ever so graceful that even the most graceful ballet dancer could not match her. daning and dancing was the only thing she was doing; even though in her mind, but she could feel everything. the pain, the sorrow, the song.

beautiful mess.

2008-10-18T11:39:00.003+08:00

with the song beautiful mess playing, she continued her way on finding out the truth. searching deep in her to let go of that tiny catalyst that started this crazy dilemma. comparing and compromising was the only thing she kept doing, and oh how she wishes she dont have to. walking along the road where no one had been before, she wandered off with her filled so many things, going back and forth, trying to destroy her from deep down and within. oh, what have she done to deserve such confusion. she tried to let things slip from her mind, but thoughts tend to always find their way back in again.

such confusion, such dilemma, such craziness, is slowly growing on her. this is a mess. this is a beautiful mess.

the greatest of stories.

2008-10-17T08:07:00.003+08:00

the greatest of story ever told were the stories which has great characters and a great storyline. the stories may not end like what we all hoped for, but it is great that way. just like songs, stories too have its own meaning.

"in the arms of the angels, fly away from here. from this dark cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear.."

-angel, sarah mclachlan-

it's easier to believe the words of songs or stories rather than finding it in real life. to have the right song play, at the right time, sounds like a great thing to have. and in fact, it is..it's like a temporary miracle that was sent to us..

anyways, i have exams later. i hope i can do it. i'm not the in the mood for it, but i have to. oh wells. take care all. god bless.

therefore...

2008-10-17T00:00:00.002+08:00

"music is my passion. passion is my drive. drive is my motivation. therefore, i'll live"

how i wish it is that simple. if you notice that sentence properly, in terms of Critical Thinking Skills, this sentence is invalid; therefore, this is bad argument and is unrepairable. haha. lol.

life is nothing but piece of crap. the word 'life' is everyone's favourite word to use, to tell people something. whether or not it is to say something bad, which will go something like this;

"this is life, it is bad whether we like or not"

or to say something good;

"ah life! you're so beautiful that i can kiss you a million times!"

(lol. that sounded frenchie..)

it is just words put together to send a message through. nonsense, is what i call life as, plain nonsense. we live our everyday thinking life has more to offer us, but have you ever thought that life is just a state of mind? geez. as if life can give you everything in the world. we still need to work for it, we still whoop our asses off for cash, so answer me; what have life given you? geez.

to be honest, i think we live by our own. we work hard, we earn, we live! now that's life. it isn't always all happy and everything is going to be okay..it is more of a, if you can, you can! if you can't, sayonara, you're dead unless you are willing to get your ass up and work your way up to the top. it's a dog-eat-dog world, so we gotta step up and show people who we are, and that we stand on a firm ground.

of course, we need some backups so that we don't feel so crappy when we fall. friends, to me are the best. they're the best thing ever that God has ever created! (though it should be my parents, but....erm..well..yeah) friends are the only thing you need when your world is at the edge of the world. they somehow can manage to bring you back, and revive you. (eventhough they're litterally slapping us back to reality....) i love them oh so much.

"without friends, there won't be joy"

(yes, i am quoting myself. i am bored so i've decided to quote)

anyhow, living this 'life' is a torture. painful, but sweet. ah. bittersweet moments. >.< i think i've mention a few time in my previous posts. don't quite remember. anyways, take care all. i'm outta here.

what a waste of time.

2008-10-15T21:42:00.004+08:00

there is something we all fear,
something that will make us shed tears.
is it true that this world is broken,
that everything was just left forsaken?

maybe it is your eyes that gave you away,
the look that says, "everything is okay".
but in actual fact, nothing is that easy,
just like those couples who are god damn cheesy.

in denial is what they are,
with the mentality of thinking far.
future is yet to come,
so why worry, have some fun!

geez, i'm so pissed at people,
maybe it's time to make more ripples.
water, water, water, and water,
yes, i'm getting bored and my mind was left to wander.

yea, yea, yea, this is a complete nonsense,
i tried occupy myself as this candle burns.
pretty, if you stare at it for a long time,
if only i can have a glass of wine.

gosh, this is pointless,
oh well, this is already meaningless.
time to leave as i am already crapping,
sayonara to all who's reading!

bare with my randomness...i wanted to write a poem, but haha..we all know what happened there! ;)

a beating heart

2008-10-15T19:05:00.007+08:00

as the rain falls in this cold weather,
there is almost a glimpse of hope.
whether we were left to stand or to wonder,
i'm sure there isn't anything we cannot cope.

so...another day had gone by yet again. which means, another page of this incomplete chapter had written itself down. beautiful yet bitter, sweet yet sour. in other words, bittersweet. this book of life has no ending to it. no one knows exactly when it ends. the magic of striving for the next step brings us closer to the future, and more pages of the previous unfavoured memories were burnt without realization. we strive to be more than what we are, strive for power, for love, for attention, as well as for truth. these motivations takes us out of that little shell that we live in, and make us discover the true meaning of life.

"when i close my eyes i can see, the spotlight are bright on you and me.."
-so she dances, josh groban-

what we are now is a bunch of curious people, demanding and searching for the light. our beating heart can only take so much, can only breathe so much, so why we tend to do more than what we can? why the extra effort just to find out that we are doing is hurting us and the people around us? well, what can i say..we want the best for everyone around us. we can't get everything our way, but hoping that one day, all this would work out, kinda makes it a whole lot easier to breathe. humanitarians, is what we are, but why oh why we do the things we do..i guess we see the after effect of the pain and suffering. there is no need to put ourselves at top priority, just as long as the people around us is fine, we are fine. it's weird, but it happens.

"yes, we all love the craziness that is happening around us. as much as we say we hate it, we still live and breathe the drama around us. without realizing, we are slowly learning to adapt to it, and eventually learnt to favour it. look at it this way, at least our effort will one day be worth it"

sometimes, we do this for the better. i don't exactly know what we are thinking but, hey, what we're doing, it is good thing to do. ;) take care all.

Angels.

2008-10-15T00:22:00.004+08:00

okay..so i have not been blogging recently. lol. was way too caught up with my own drama. haha. you know..things has been going all smooth and well, that i can't believe my eyes. my eyeballs are popping out! lol. alright. so what have happened? well..

there's nothing much basically. haha. been having exams here and there, and i tell you, it will kill us one day. ;P for the past several weeks, i have been sending my friend, rachel, back home from college. and haha, the car rides, it was fun! not to mention tiring. lol.

have you ever wonder why we are fated to meet the people in our life?

well, i have. i don't exactly know what God is planning. haha. no one knows for sure now ain't it now? lol. i know for a fact that, we are the ones walking and talking, and that we have choices that binds us to who we meet. we can choose to not talk to that one person, but somehow, there's something about that person that draws us to them. i call it vibe. i don't know about you though ;)

when a person feels that they have a need to approach a certain person, they will try to approch them at all cost. weird thing is, after they do, they becomes friends, and that is where another new chapter begins. that brings me back to my original question;
"why we are fated meet the people in our life?"

well, there is no definite answer for this, but i can tell you what i think! :)

what i think is that, our life is like an unwritten book. it is up to us whether we want to create a new chapter from the previous ones or..stick to it like glu and stay in that, what i call as, "the safe zone". we are here to make a difference. as a good friend of mine once said;

"go out of your safe zone, and you'll discover the grass is greener on the other side"

so yeah. i did, and look at where i am now. i am a more happier person (at least i would like to think i am ;] )

though, i am very glad i know the people in my life. :) i have friends who are like family, and they mean the world to me. i dont have to state out who are those people, but you know who you are. thanks to you all, my world is lite up with purrrrty lights and candles. :) love you all.

the tagged victim >.<

2008-10-06T22:49:00.008+08:00

Lucky Curtain #1 - charlene anne lee
Lucky Curtain #2 - nicholas stewart yeoh
Lucky Curtain #3 - chou ee von
Lucky Curtain #4 - catherine koh
Lucky Curtain #5 - saw

1. How did you meet 1?

- in high school. will never forget those times =]

2. On a scale of 1 - 10, how would you rate your friendship with 1?

- beyond that. we're practically sisters. =]

3. How long have you known 4?

- for 4 years now. lol.

4. How do you know number 3?

- in high school as well =]

5. Where's 5?

- at home. probably sleeping. lol.

6. A fact about number 1?

- awesome person.

7. Who is 4 going out with?

- saw.

8. What does 1 do for a living?

- she's still a student. plannin' to teach kids though. =]

9. Would you live with number 3?

- why not? lol.

10. What do you like about number 2?

- the will power.

11. Do you miss number 5?

- i guess haha

12. Would you make out with number 4?
- erm...>.<>

13. What's your opinion on number 2?

- cool and steady person. a bit hot tempered, but it's fine.

14. What's your favourite memory with number 5?

- lol. erm..

15. What will you do if number 1 and 2 were going out?

- ehem, ehem (let me clear my throat for this..) ehem....
aaaaaaHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAaaaaaaa
never and impossible.

16. Ever had a long conversation with 5?

- i think i have..not too sure.

17. Have you ever slept at 2's house?

- nopes.

18. Do you hang out with 3 a lot?

- yes...A LOTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha.

19. Who have you known the longest?

- lucky curtain nombor dua! =] 12 years now.

20. What will happen if number 1 and 5 have a relationship?

- LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now that is one heck of a question.

21. How often do you talk to 1?
- alll ttheee ffreaakkiiinnggggg tiimmeeee! and i like it! ;D

22. What about 2?

- haha. the magic of internet, people! ;D

23. Have you ever thought 3 more than a friend?

- aahahahahahahahaaaaaa!

24. Would you go on a date with number 5?

- haha. nah..he's really a good friend of mine.

25. Do you dream about number 2?

- yea. at times.

26. What did no.4 did to you that you can never forget?

- haha. definitely the time when she showed me where the mountain side of bukit antarabangsa is located. =] it was a great outing.

27. What have you done for/to 1 that the person never forgets?

- i guess only she who knows. ;]

28. What's 3's hobby?

- hahahahahahahaaaa! having sex? LOL! picking out chicks? hahaa! erm somewhere along that line.

rawrness!

2008-09-24T06:42:00.003+08:00

haha. it has been a while since i posted here. i think it's time to restart. lol.

okay..so, i've been in college for a while now. for almost 5months to be exact. throughout my times being there, i've met a number of people there too! they're great and awesome people. there's, as usual, dalvinder and aavinash. haha. then comes, the 2 shalinis' haha. then shalini's chinese boyfriend, jifatt, and his gang. hahaha! hong yi, vanice, wen hui, kelly, henry, jun yuin, chi mei, xiao wei (sexyphone xD) and all haha. Then there are few others too. haha. ooh! yes, and also, rachel and jeremy. they're the bomb! haha.

so..i think thats it. haha

live high! wheee...take care all.

erm..

2008-09-15T00:54:00.003+08:00

who can say for certain, maybe you're still here. i feel you all around me, your memory so close. deep in the stillness, i can hear you speak. you're still my inspiration, can it be?..

that you are mine, forever love; and you are watching me from above.

fly me up to where you are beyond the distant stars; i wish upon tonight to see you smile. if only for a while to know you're there, a breath away's not far to where you are..

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn’t faith believing
All power can’t be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday

’cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

fly me up to where you are beyond the distant stars; i wish upon tonight to see you smile. if only for a while to know you're there, a breath away's not far to where you are..

i know you're there...
a breath away's not far to where you are..

A Song I'm Crazy Over..

2008-09-05T12:54:00.008+08:00

Dancing by Elisa

Time is gonna take my mind
and carry it far away where I can fly
The depth of life will dim
my temptation to live for you
If I were to be alone
silence would rock my tears
'cause it's all about love and I know better
How life is a waving feather

So I put my arms around you, around you
And I know that I'll be leaving soon
My eyes are on you, they're on you
And you see that I can't stop shaking

No, I won't step back
but I'll look down to hide from your eyes
'cause what I feel is so sweet
and I'm scared that even my own breath
Oh, could burst it if it were a bubble
And I'd better dream if I have to struggle

So I put my arms around you, around you
And I hope that I will do no wrong
My eyes are on you, they're on you
And I hope that you won't hurt me

I'm dancing in the room as if I was in the woods with you
No need for anything but music
Music's the reason why I know time still exists
Time still exists
Time still exists
Time still exists

So I just put my arms around you, around you
And I hope that I will do no wrong
My eyes are on you, they're on you
And I hope that you won't hurt me
My arms around you, they're around you
And I hope that I will do no wrong
My eyes are on you they're on you
They're on you
They're on you
They're on you
My eyes...

Dancing In The River Of Uncertainty

2008-09-02T19:19:00.004+08:00

Let us go and make us fly,
fly away from this world that we all live by.
Every cloud we see, and every river we come across,
we would dance on it, as if our rational were lost.
We drift in this land of fantasy denying,
denying the fact we are all slowly dying.
We cover up the truth with our ignorance,
thinking one day it would become an act disappearance.
Oh, how naive we were,
to not try and face this puppy fear.
"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder", as one used to say,
what cruelty have we done back in the days?
Oh, who know what He had planned for us,
and what comes second or what comes first.
Let's just ride with the winds tonight,
And be free from all this lights...

Erm...Survey..thingy. haha

2008-08-28T21:58:00.004+08:00

Rules:
1. tag 10 ppl (not the one who sent it to you!)
2. answer all truthfully
3. take it in public!
4. tell all tagges on their profile that they have been tagged.

---------------------------------------------

Info
[ ] I am shorter than 5'4.
[ ] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[ ] I have many scars.
[x] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different colour.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair colour.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[ ] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ ] I have/I've had braces.
[x] I wear glasses.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
[ ] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercing.
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[x] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[x] I've sworn at my parents.
[x] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[ ] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've lost a child.

School/Work
[x] I'm in school
[ ] I have a job
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[x] I almost always do my homework.
[x] I've missed a week or more of school.
[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[x] I failed more than 1 class last year
[ ] I've stolen something from my job
[ ] I've been fired

Embarrassment
[ ] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[x] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something.
[x] I've had my pants rip in public.

Health
[x] I was born with a disease/impairment
[ ] I've gotten stitches/staples.
[ ] I've broken a bone
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ] I've sat in a doctor's office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[ ] I've had chicken pox.
[ ] I've had measles

Traveling
[ ] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.

Experiences
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[ ] I've seen a shooting star.
[ ] I've wished on a shooting star
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pyjamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[ ] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[ ] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[ ] I've been Skiing.
[x] I've been in a play.
[x] I've met someone in person from myspace.
[ ] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] I've eaten sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships
[x] I'm single
[ ] I'm in a relationship
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumped more than the dumper.
[ ] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship.
[x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] I am a cuddler.
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.

Honesty/Crime
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[ ] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.

Drugs/Alcohol
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[x] I regularly drink.
[x] I've passed out from drinking.
[x] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ] I've smoked weed.
[ ] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[x] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[x] I've woken up crying.

Death and Suicide
[ ] I'm afraid of dying.
[ ] I hate funerals.
[ ] I've seen someone dying.
[ ] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[x] I've planned my own suicide.
[ ] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[ ] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[ ] I own something from The Gap.
[ ] I own something I got on e-bay.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.

Random
[ ] I can sing well.
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[ ] I open up to others easily. You ask me a question I'm most likely going to answer it.
[ ] I watch the news.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[x] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[ ] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I twirl my hair.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I love being neat.
[ ] I love Spam
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[ ] I bake well.
[ ] My favourite colour is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
[ ] I've worn pyjamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun
[ ] I am in love with love.
[x] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[x] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I believe in ghosts.
[x] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[ ] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[ ] I am really ticklish.
[x] I love white chocolate
[ ] I bite my nails.
[x] I play video games.
[x] I'm good at remembering names.
[x] I'm good at remembering dates.
[ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[x] All of those are answered honestly.

p/s: I do not plan on tagging anyone 'coz it's sorta pointless, so yeah. I won't haha. This is just for fun. If you want to do it, go ahead and do it haha.

Let's Just Breathe

2008-08-27T18:12:00.002+08:00

Things has been going downhill for the past few days. Don't get me wrong, I am happy with whatever I have, just that, it doesn't feel as appealing as it used to be. My mind is constantly thinking and that honestly, drives me mad. I don't know what's going on, and I don't know what exactly I'm feeling. All I know is that I am still here, alive. I guess all we can do is just breathe..And stay alive.

The Unheard Whisper

2008-08-25T19:52:00.002+08:00

What seems like a whisper, may not be a whisper. It may contain the most of heart felt emotion, but is put into words. This may not seem important to the person who's listenin' to the message, but it could mean the world to the person who's delivering the words. Sometimes, even words cannot describe how one is feeling, therefore they say it in the most softest tone ever, hoping and wishing those are the right words. Thus, it is called a whisper.

It is often when a whisper is not heard. But it also isn't always said. Listen carefully and you will hear what it is meant. Listen deep with your heart, the whisper of your heart, and then only you will catch the tears of love.

timetable

2008-08-22T22:32:00.003+08:00

erm yeah. here's my coming timetable err thingy..

Monday
9:30 - 11:00 - Advanced English
12:30 - 2:00 - Critical Thinking Skills
3:30 - 5:00 - Introduction to Human Communications
5:00 - 6:30 - Malaysian Studies

Tuesday
11:00 - 12:30 - Advanced English
12:30 - 2:00 - Critical Thinking Skills
3:30 - 5:00 - Finite Mathematics

Wednesday
8:00 - 9.30 - Introduction to Human Communications
11:00 - 12:30 - Finite Mathematics

Thursday
12:30 - 2:00 - Finite Mathematics
2:00 - 3:30 - Advanced English
3:30 - 5:00 - Introduction to Human Communications
5:00 - 6:30 - Malaysian Studies

Friday
8:00 - 9:30 - Critical Thinking Skills

busy, busy schedule..>.<.

The Rain

2008-08-18T13:05:00.002+08:00

The rain. What seemed so simple, reminds me of every waking moment in my life. I can't explain the feeling I am feeling right now, but it sure feels good. When I glanced out the window, watching the rain fall everywhere, I felt a rush of nostalgia. It almost feels like I've been there before. I've seen my life pass me by, people fade away, hearts broken, but those things doesn't surprise me anymore. It is what we all will face. I guess, we all got to just live and let go. lol. Anyways, I'm outta here.

A Tale Of Two Stories

2008-08-15T18:44:00.002+08:00

What seems like an illusion, isn't an illusion. 'A Tale Of Two Stories" they all said. "Nothing but myth!" It may seems like a fictional fairytale, but fairytale do exists, just not as happy and sweet as we would've thought. A tale of two stories..2 people of different life, but in the same lifetime with the same tie and bond.

I honestly don't know what I am writing. haha.

The Art Of The Heart.

2008-08-14T00:30:00.004+08:00

I know I can't promise you, I know I can't determine what happens in the future, but I can assure you one and only one thing..Whatever happens, wherever I am, I assure you that I will be there. I will never ever leave you alone, stranded just like that. It is something I will never do. I know at one point of our lives we are bound to face separation, but till then, I'll just smile at you and say, screw life and its consequences. lol. Take my word for it. I will be there through the storm in the sea, through the heavy rain, and also whether you like it or not! haha. Life is a real funny thing...lol. It's already funny how we found each other. Who would've known that we would go so far with just a plain "I heard you're in the same class.." at first? lol. I know now, I can't live without you. I can, but not too long. I will actually die. lol. It's so weird how we are fated to meet. You know, I have actually pictured how it would like if I didn't know you, if I didn't have you in my life..And trust me, I don't like it one bit haha. lol. All in all, I am glad to have you in my life. So, so glad. Thank you my dear friend, my dear sister. =)

An Addictive Drug

2008-08-13T15:11:00.002+08:00

I have been so addicted to this song!! haha. Love it so much.

Maybe - Secondhand Serenade

Didn't you want to hear
The sound of all the places we could go
Do you fear
The expressions on the faces we don't know
It's a cold hard road when you wake up
And I don't think that I
Have the strength to let you go

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
That everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

There goes my ring
It might as well have been shattered
And I'm here to sing
About the things that mattered
About the things that made us feel alive for oh so long
About the things that kept you on my side when I was wrong

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
That everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

And someday, I promise I'll be gone
And someday, I might even sing this song
To you, I might even sing this song, to you
And I was crying alone tonight
And I was wasting all of my life just thinking of you
So just come back we'll make it better
So Just come back I'll make it
Better than it ever was

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
That everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
That everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

Opened Eyes

2008-08-12T23:40:00.003+08:00

Words can't even describe how content I'm feeling right at this moment. lol. Sometimes, just when you're on the edge, thinking you're gonna fall, someone pops in front of you and save your freaking ass from falling down. For some reason, I'm feeling like that at this moment. The only difference is, I wasn't falling down, but have fallen down. lol. All I can is...I love today... =]

RandoM! lol

2008-08-12T15:10:00.003+08:00

Oh! I'm oh so addicted to Secondhand Serenade! Love their old album! haha. This is just a random post, so deal with me. haha. I've been in love with songs lately and also coffee! It gives me a rush of ... something..haha. Don't quite know how to describe it haha. Oh wells. I'm outta hereee!

Swimming Through Memory Lane

2008-08-10T23:08:00.003+08:00

Time had gone by so fast. It seems like just yesterday when I first step into reality. My memories almost brought me back to who I was before I met the real meaning of life. I missed being that person, that selfless, optimistic, shy, cautious, kind, giving and most of all, loving person. I mean, I still am, but it isn't the same as it used to be. I am now, being tied down by what they call as the cruelty of life. It was said that I should be more cold, more mean, so that I don't have to suffer next time when I step into the bigger picture. I have changed for the future, but slowly, I am losing my past (if you know what I mean)..lol. I actually did not realise it. I thought that I am still the same, but right now that I have compared, it is actually different. lol. (now I know what you mean when you say you miss the old me..lol) I sure miss it too. lol. Anyways, I'm out of here. May God bless all of you. Toodles. ;)

The White Phantom

2008-08-10T13:22:00.003+08:00

Your shadow lingers in my thoughts. Your mysterious voice stayed by my ears, taunting and haunting me every night. I could still feel you though you are not here. What does all this mean? You were just here in my life for just one second, and now you have conquered my mind for eternity. It was all white when you came in my life. I could see cherry blossoms flying around with you in front of me, staring and wondering if I am alright. Wearing the white mask and cape, you handed me a black rose, which lead me melting away in the twilight of your eyes. You then began to sing the sweetest of song that drives me insanely away from reality. I fell in love for one minute. Then..You left. My white imagination turned all normal and simple again. Oh, how I wish to see that face behind that mysterious voice that took my heart away. Where are you now my white phantom? You held me prisoner in your voice, and now I'm trapped.

A Blog Link Change

2008-08-10T00:26:00.002+08:00

As you all may see, I have decided to change my blog link from psychocrazyho.blogspot.com to lostinthetwlightofyoureyes.blogspot.com. Reason why I changed? Just thought it would be cool to have that link. Suddenly thought of changing my whole blog, including the link..So, yeah..

Lost In The Twilight Of Your Eyes..

2008-08-09T23:46:00.003+08:00

Let's just dance once more in this cold, dark world. Take my hand and I'll lead you away from the light that is waiting for you. I will bring you to the deepest depths of despair, where you and I will dance with the shadows and whispering winds. We will walk on dark water, tip-toeing through the thorn bushes and run endlessly in this race of confusion. You will fly up high into the skies, where I will be the only one who catch your fall. Though wounded, you will always manage to get back up. I smiled upon great strength. You slowly became my light though you don't know it. But in the end, this world wasn't enough, and you decided to cross over the light that was waiting for you all this while. I was left here, alone. I looked as you are being sucked into the twilight of the shine. Your dark dress turned white and your eyes became alive. You did not look back even once for you are not fond of the past moments. You then, disappeared...

Our Picture

2008-08-09T10:38:00.006+08:00

"I will paint our picture out of memory, and you out of my smile..."
"Don't think I can get through this...ever"

The exact words from my mind. I guess, I want just everything back to what it used to be..But, I know I can't have that. Oh, sweet, sweet agony..I will return your love soon enough. Give me some time to return myself to reality because my heart is still all so wounded. I'm barely hanging on, but I'll pull through..Let's just pray. ok?

How Far More?

2008-08-06T01:30:00.004+08:00

We, we are two of a kind being that never stop believing. Never did once we doubt, and never once we do not forgive..Now, times had changed drastically, and that had lead me walking alone on this path that we've created together. Having a new guardian, you followed wherever the light was going in this dark, dark world. Couldn't have the heart to trust, I chose to go on alone while you followed that spark of light, that little spark of joy. I saw you from a far distance, looking hopeful, looking content after so long. Having no other choice, I replied back with a warm smile as a sign of letting you roam free in this land of eternal darkness. Slowly, day by day, you are breaking free from this cold, lonely world. I would know, because I've been watching over you since day 1. I couldn't feel anything but this numbness at heart and the pain in my chest, suffocating my very last breaths. Alas. I fell. I fell without you walking by my side.

As you kept going further and further away, I grew colder day by day. Knowing I have no one else to stop me, I let myself roam free in the darkest way, the cruellest way. Evil had decided to conquer my very soul and let my fear eat myself up so I would turn into the ugliest being that have the greatest desire for attention. Thinking that this was a competition, I let myself race. Race in this pointless marathon that has no finish line - for me. Running and pacing, I ran as fast as I could, but the light was always slightly faster. Running and running, I finally gave up and fell on my knees, crying over my defeat. I knew I couldn't do it from the start.

Now, I am this cold being, that has no warm heart. A heartless. The black, dark shadow that lurks only in the pits of darkness. And whenever the light shines bright, I despises it, I curse it, and I cry over it. I've cared, I've loved, and I've cried. Now, let me glow, glow in the darkest form ever. Let me be tied down by my own sorrow, and mourn over my defeat. Let me go. Though I was there before the existence of the light, but who notices a dark and twisted being when there's a chance to reborn?..yeah. We all know. But...the question now is; how far more?..

a phase change.

2008-08-01T20:44:00.002+08:00

have you ever wonder what is it like to finally let go of the person you love most, just to discover that it was nothing but an illusion? well, i certainly do. it isn't easy, i admit, but the moment when you realised that they are still around, lingering at your very doorstep, you wonder, why was i so stupid to do such a thing. yeah. it was good when it lasted. was able to actually be myself for a while there. and mind you, i am not talking about no guys. guys play no important role in my life. yes. i think some of you may know haha. oh well. i will try to get over this and go on with my life. after all, life is but a step away. just so know you, i will try to set things right once again. can't be doing my finals if i have to go through with these things in mind lol. anyways! getting this out of me starting. . . . . . . . . . . . . . now! haha.

finals is tomorrow and omg! i need to start studying and work for it. i have about half marks to pass my semester! pray damn it, prayyyyyy! haha. anyways. adios! wanna study. sorta haha. bye!

The Forgotten Angel.

2008-07-29T17:55:00.005+08:00

She took my hand and said;
"My dear friend, there is nothing to worry about for I will be here with you all the time, and when you look up at the skies above at night, you will remember the times we've been together"

She then let go of my hand and flew away. I then replied;
"For all I know, you will always remain in my heart.

I promise...."

Final Week, Final Step, FINALS!!

2008-07-28T16:38:00.003+08:00

The last 3months had went by so fast. It seems like just yesterday, my college lesson is just starting. This week is my final week for my first semester. Feel kinda sad though for some reason. The end of this week will be my final examinations and well, I can't wait to get it over and done. After that, it is 2 weeks of stress-free crash course haha. Next semester, the March and May intakes will be both combined. So yes, there will be some serious case of competitions, new people to meet, and more classes to attend. But I am ready for it. I can't wait to march to the next step.

This Thursday will be my English class party. We're having party. Pizza party to be exact. haha. I need some ideas for games. If anyone can think of something, just leave me a comment. I need it. haha. Me and my sister are now the gamemasters. LOL! I'm gonna wear nicely for the party. It's gonna be one hell of a photo taking session haha.

haha. Anyways, I'm outta here.

Thoughts

2008-07-26T19:10:00.002+08:00

We sure have come a long way. For some it is impossible to reach to this point, but we made it somehow. You and I are one crazy combination, and I'm glad we found one another. :)

Blog, No Idea, Missing, Songs, Laughs!

2008-07-25T21:14:00.003+08:00

In love with the song whatever it takes! haha. Today, I feel like blogging, but I have absolutely no idea on what to blog about. haha! Tomorrow is another presentation, next week is finals, haha. Really, I have no idea what to write about. I LOVE LOVE LOVE lifehouse! haha. And I freaking miss so many God damn people and those God damn people didn't even give me any signs if they are even alive! haha. Oh wells. I'm outta here!!